The Best of What’s New to Buy

Honk (double tap?) if you’re eager to get dressed but just can’t fucking execute. This is arguably worse than the reverse — when the ducks (Shoes? Sweaters? Strawberry Mentos?) are in a row, but you’re out of energy. It’s like every time you open the golden chambers, primed for them to offer the manifold choices that will facilitate your looking the best you ever have, the minions who live inside said chambers prove themselves to be under-performing at a pace that makes you feel like you’re trying to operate an AOL account in the age of Periscope.

Don’t worry.

I’m right there with you.

And I blame last season (in February) at fashion week, which rendered about 60% of our collective closets futile with its distaste for white sneakers, ripped jeans and overall messy aesthetic, for the change.

But here’s an idea — and maybe I’m self-medicating — but instead of partake in a dramatic, Marie Kondo-style upheaval, why not just try to find that one thing. The saving grace that makes all the other stuff feel relevant and fresh and cool and, to bring this back around, like a strawberry Mentos that just hit your tongue after garlic bread. Follow the slideshow like it is a yellow brick road for guidance, or cop a feel at the bar below like you are a male junior in high school and it is a very large set of…history textbooks.

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