Why I have left the MMRG on Goodreads

It’s been an interesting few days for the M/M Romance Group on Goodreads. Basically, people of color were hurt by the racism in a historical master/slave story that was written as part of the Don’t Read in the Closet event. A white master/black slave story set in the United States around the time of the civil war. Hey, who remembers the uproar over the concentration camp “romance”? Frankly, if anyone couldn’t see that a master/slave story set during the American Civil War was a terrible idea, I’m not sure anyone can help them.

Here’s the thing. It is absolutely beyond question that the writer of the story did not mean to cause harm. Nobody is accusing her of that. Nevertheless, people were harmed by this story, because the effects of slavery are still felt today. Racism is a thing. Institutionalised racism is a thing. And so is privilege. And if you can’t see that people are still harmed every day in absolutely tangible ways by racism, then you need to check your privilege.



I’m a white Australian woman. When it comes to privilege, I win some and I lose some. But I always do try to be aware that because I’m white, I’m Western, and I’m middle-class, then there are a hell of a lot of prejudices out there that other people face, that I simply don’t. I recognise that I have privilege, and that sometimes I need to shut up and listen to what other people are saying, rather than dismissing their concerns as something that just doesn’t happen because it’s never happened to me.

For truly excellent reviews of the story in question, I suggest you read Emma Sea’s review, or Mmeguillotine’s review.

The issues with the story aside for now, let’s turn instead to the response from the M/M Romance Group. When people of color stated that they were harmed by this story, I would have thought that the response from a group that so fervently defends LGBTQ rights would have been different than what amounted to: If you don’t like it, leave.

Let’s just repeat that: People were harmed, and instead of the mods apologising for that harm, they threw out the old red herring about censorship, and told people that if they were unhappy in the group then they should go.

Firstly, smarter people than me have pointed out that rejecting a prompt or a story is not censorship. And secondly, telling already marginalised people who are complaining about being marginalised again in a group they thought was a safe place that they’re over-reacting, or they’re too sensitive, or they’re making a big deal out of nothing -- excuse me, that loud bang was the sound of my irony meter exploding.

I have written three stories for the DRitC event, and I have enjoyed doing it. But I have asked that this year my story Hellion be removed from the anthology. It will still be available on the M/M Romance Group site for anyone who wishes to read it. However, I have left the group and will not be writing for the event again. On a professional level, I do not wish to have my work publicly associated with the group whose response to this incident has been tone deaf at best, and racist at worst. On a personal level, I do not wish to be part of a group where others are made to feel unsafe, unwelcome, or unwanted.

And while I know I run the risk of being labelled a sycophant, as others have already been, I assure you that I can and do think for myself. And if anyone wants to label me a badly behaving author, as others have already been, because I believe in taking a stand in this matter, then if that’s easier to do than checking your own privilege, go for it.
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Published on October 23, 2015 20:00
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message 1: by Jenn (new)

Jenn Well stated, Lisa. I left the group as well, for the same reasons. I was very disturbed that the group was not more responsive.


message 2: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry Thanks, Jenn.


message 3: by Emma Sea (last edited Oct 24, 2015 05:23PM) (new)

Emma Sea Great post, Lisa. thanks for the link


message 4: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry It's a great review, Emma, and said things much more eloquently than I could have.


message 5: by Vanessa (new)

Vanessa North Thanks for this, Lisa. :)


message 6: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry Vanessa wrote: "Thanks for this, Lisa. :)"

Thanks, Vanessa.


message 7: by Vivian (new)

Vivian +1


message 8: by Maygirl7 (new)

Maygirl7 You're blog post is much appreciated.


message 9: by Steelwhisper (new)

Steelwhisper Absolutely great blog post!


message 10: by Serena (new)

Serena Yates What a great post, Lisa. Well said. I left four years ago over the transphobis incident, and am saddened to see that nothing seems to have changed in the overall way the group reacts. I appreciate your words and taking a stand.


message 11: by Crouck (new)

Crouck Are there some POC reviews/posts/voices on the story that could be highlighted here?


message 12: by Vanessa (last edited Oct 24, 2015 07:35PM) (new)

Vanessa North Crouck wrote: "Are there some POC reviews/posts/voices on the story that could be highlighted here?"

Please look at the reviews of The Garçonnière an look at those by Julio, Erika, monica, kimmi, leah, and many, many others.


message 13: by Vanessa (new)

Vanessa North I would have posted links but on my kindle and not sure how are


message 14: by Vivian (new)

Vivian Serena wrote: "What a great post, Lisa. Well said. I left four years ago over the transphobis incident, and am saddened to see that nothing seems to have changed in the overall way the group reacts. I appreciate ..."

I am really sorry to hear that, there does seem to be a trend from what I've heard from others whom have left.


message 15: by Crouck (new)

Crouck Vanessa wrote: "Crouck wrote: "Are there some POC reviews/posts/voices on the story that could be highlighted here?"

Please look at the reviews of The Garçonnière an look at those by Julio, Erika,..."


ok, thanks


message 16: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry Thanks everyone!


message 17: by Julio (new)

Julio Genao nicely done, Lisa.

i think you made the right choice to pull your story from the anthology.

i'd have a cow if my story was representing queer romance in the same book as that hellacious excercise in oblivious privilege.


message 18: by Julio (new)

Julio Genao Vanessa wrote: "Please look at the reviews of The Garçonnière an look at those by Julio, Erika, monica, kimmi, leah, and many, many others"

thanks for this. I spent nine days howling into the void over this, and it's nice to feel like somebody heard me.

fortunately, as you and Lisa and Emma pointed out in your own great reviews and posts about this, the list of amazing reviews of this book just keeps growing.

for all the friends who have disappointed us with their indifference, and their outright hostility—I think I've probably made another thirty new ones who joined their amazing voices with ours, helping to spread a little more empathy 'round these parts.


Ije the Devourer of Books Thanks for this


message 20: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry julio wrote: "nicely done, Lisa.

i think you made the right choice to pull your story from the anthology.

i'd have a cow if my story was representing queer romance in the same book as that hellacious excercis..."


I have no regrets about pulling my story from the anthology whatsoever. If the MMRG's brand on social media is going to be "that group that is okay with racism" then it's an easy decision to make.


message 21: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry Ryane wrote: "I am a POC and a woman. I read the story and really enjoyed it. I haven't reviewed it and probably won't. (I have been harassed about some of my reviews.) It was historical fiction. Sometimes histo..."

I'm glad you enjoyed the story, Ryane. I personally feel there are subjects that should not be romanticised, so the concept of a white master/black slave historical was very disturbing to me. However, it was the group's tone deaf reaction that really convinced me to leave.

I also hope the author continues to write regardless of MMRG, and I wish her well for the future.


message 22: by Vanessa (new)

Vanessa North Lisa wrote: "I have no regrets about pulling my story from the anthology whatsoever. If the MMRG's brand on social media is going to be "that group that is okay with racism" then it's an easy decision to make."

Same.


message 23: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry Ryane wrote: "Lisa, you are quite right. I suppose from where I sit there is no difference in this story and Mandingo. I do believe the mods handled this badly and more discretion could have been used."

Thanks, Ryane.


message 24: by JR (new)

JR I have left also, been fighting for rights for all for so long, it is disheartening to see a group that should be practicing civil rights, completely ignore genuine issues. Wonder if they would feel the same if they were told to sit at the back of the bus, that they couldn't drink from the same water fountain, that their skin color kept them from voting or you couldn't marry the man or woman of your choosing. I swear it's one step forward and 2 steps back, groups like MMR don't help.


“If you are not a part of the solution, you are a part of the problem.”


― Eldridge Cleaver


message 25: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry Yes, it was quite sad to see them brush off people's concerns the way they did. The definition of privilege.


message 26: by liz (new)

liz I'm glad you wrote this post. Thank you for eloquently stating all of the reasons I also left the group.


Nichole (DirrtyH) I accept and acknowledge that the MM group's reaction to the controversy was clearly not what many had hoped for. However, I am not sure I'm clear on what reaction from the MM group would have been acceptable.

Was it expected that they would pull the story? Should they have created new guidelines about story content for future events? If so, what should those guidelines have been? How could they have come up with a list of guidelines that could have been comprehensive enough to prevent the writing of or request for any story that might be offensive? If they couldn't come up with a specific enough list of guidelines, should they instead a point a committee of people who would determine the appropriateness of each story or prompt before publication? Who would be on that committee?

I'm not here to argue, but I am genuinely confused about, and would like an explanation of, what the desired outcome here was. If you were a mod for the MM group, and you were responsible for drafting the official response, what would it have been?


message 28: by Vanessa (new)

Vanessa North Nichole (Dirrty H) wrote: "I accept and acknowledge that the MM group's reaction to the controversy was clearly not what many had hoped for. However, I am not sure I'm clear on what reaction from the MM group would have been..."

That's been addressed many, many times by lots of people, but I think most explicitly here, by Emma Sea (quoted below)

https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

"What people of colour asked for:
• An acknowledgement of unintentional hurt caused
• The addition of a non-consent tag to the story, as a person living under institutional slavery cannot freely consent (this was done).
• Thread space for resources for future DRitC authors on writing marginalized groups
• The opening of a discussion thread on the possibility of community guidelines for future DRitC events, also incorporating the concerns raised by people on topics of rape, homophobia etc. Something along the lines of;

While romance can bloom in the unlikeliest of environments, we ask that authors treat topics such as systemic oppression and persecution with sensitivity and respect, in line with the standards of the m/m community.

What people of colour never asked for;

• The banning of any stories
• The banning of any topics for prompts
• The introduction of censorship to the m/m romance genre"



message 29: by Julio (new)

Julio Genao that.


message 30: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry liz wrote: "I'm glad you wrote this post. Thank you for eloquently stating all of the reasons I also left the group."

Thanks, liz!


message 31: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry Nichole (Dirrty H) wrote: "I accept and acknowledge that the MM group's reaction to the controversy was clearly not what many had hoped for. However, I am not sure I'm clear on what reaction from the MM group would have been..."

Vanessa, quoting Emma Sea, has covered it perfectly, I think.


message 32: by Emma Sea (last edited Oct 27, 2015 05:01PM) (new)

Emma Sea Nichole (Dirrty H) wrote: "If you were a mod for the MM group, and you were responsible for drafting the official response, what would it have been? "

I posted this elsewhere, but if, as you suggest, I'd been a mod for the group, this is what I would have posted, in a discussion thread, and also in an email that went out to the whole group. Like the social media email did about 4 days later:

The M/M Romance group values all its members. Due to the concerns voiced recently over one of the stories in the Don't Read in the Closet event, we wish to apologise for the hurt caused, and make clear that event stories should not romanticize oppression or persecution. Mods and volunteers will work with authors in future events to ensure sensitive topics are treated with all consideration. Please remember that community standards do not equal censorship. Share your thoughts in the moderated thread below. Remember to listen, and treat other members with respect.


message 33: by Vivian (new)

Vivian I would have settled for moderated thread and lack of hostility from both members and mods.


message 34: by Lisa (new)

Lisa Henry Vivian wrote: "I would have settled for moderated thread and lack of hostility from both members and mods."

That would also have been nice.


message 35: by Steelwhisper (last edited Oct 27, 2015 08:01PM) (new)

Steelwhisper I at least would have expected the decent thing, you know? Like the author, promptgiver and group writing an apology. Not a grovelling one, as already has been stated, I think people can see that it wasn't an intentional thing. Just acknowledging that it hurt and saying sorry about that.

I also would have expected the MMGR or preferably the author withdrawing the story from the anthologies (mind, not the website per se, nor the group threads on GR, just the anthologies), as it keeps a lot of authors from staying in them (which would mean more or less support of racism by association).

ETA: yes, and a complete absence of aggression and humiliation towards POC and their allies would also have gone a long way.


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