Your New Favorite Instagram: Unfortunate Portrait

If these doodles look familiar, that’s because they are. Illustrator Max Dower of Unfortunate Portrait sat Leandra front row between a well-hatted chef and a waiter during fashion week. He drew a BLT clutch for a little ditty I did about my diet and he put people in knits (plus gave them pets) for our story about the best fall sweater.

He is — and I say this as the absolute highest form of a compliment one can give — pretty weird. And thank god for his weird, because my life meant nothing before he created this:

I never knew true joy until this:

And I realized that all this time, I’d been missing out on what it meant to be happy to receive a dick pic.

Now I get it! Send me this pick of a punny dick and I will be happier than a kid in a ball pit.

You know how Foreigner — 80s crooners of the truest emotions — once sang that they wanted to know what love is? I used to sing along with tears in my eyes until Dower drew this…

And showed me.

Show the love back by following him on Instagram.  You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll be confused about whether or not this is supposed to make you uncomfortable, and then you’ll spot North West as a human selfie stick.

Which, if you think about it, is probably next following Rick Owens’ human backpacks, anyway.

Illustrations by Max Dower via his Instagram account, @unfortunateportrait. Shop his stuff here.

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