Who enjoys my writing?

…me or the reader?

If you’d asked me this time last year, I would have said, “the reader should enjoy my writing more than me. Otherwise I’m just indulging myself.”

After all, my writing wasn’t a hobby, it was an attempt at a career (mother!). This was something I was choosing to do rather than work more hours or spend more time with my daughters and wife. The only justification is if the end result is something readers would enjoy (and, uh, pay for). So who cares if the act of writing was boring or torturous?

Well…turns out (a) I care and (b) nobody enjoys the result.

I just finished reading two books (which shall remain anonymous unless you check out my rants on Facebook). One of which was written by an author who clearly loved the process of writing, figuring out what happened next, describing robots, the whole thing. The book was a mess that fell apart in the final act, but it was fun to read. I finished it, and I’m still thinking about it. The other book was tightly plotted, thematically consistent, clearly very heavily outlined…and dull. It was clear the author was just writing until they could clock out. They had no real love for the story or its characters. They never lingered on anything. And I didn’t finish the book.

Compare that to my recent experience.

My wife just read my most recent book and then went back and re-read my very first book. I had, ahem, expected her to praise my latest work as the full flowering of the potential of my artist genius, while my first book was nothing but an adorable hint of my future greatness, like watching Genghis Khan as a toddler.

What she told me, though, is that while Kingdoms of Evil is clearly written by someone who didn’t know what he was doing, it was more fun than Charming Lies. It had more jokes, more colorful characters, more atmosphere. You could tell which book was the hobby that I did for enjoyment, and which was the goal I was trying to reach.

After crying a bit on my wife’s shoulder, I made a resolution about my new book: it has to be fun. Oh, some parts will be less fun than others, but when I come to a choice (kill that character or not? deviate from my outline or not? describe that alien in detail, or in great detail?) I’m going to take into consideration which option I’d enjoy writing more.

I’m taking my writing back into hobby territory.

And you know the weird thing?

I am approaching my deadline three times as fast as before.