Are You Too Critical to Be a Leader?

Is your self-criticism helping you to be a leader, or harming you? 

First, find out if you are a criticizer. Then know that the answer can be… BOTH! The trick is to know which is which. Self-criticism and perfectionism are harmful when they set you up to multi-task, over-focus on the details, and speak in a critical tone to yourself or others. Self-criticism can be helpful when it gives you the drive to get things done, make products even better, and be someone who is trustworthy.

Here are 3 things you want to consider to find out if self-criticism and perfectionism is helping or hurting you. 

Know the purpose

When you ask yourself if your work is perfect, you are really asking yourself, “Is this perfect enough so others will be impressed with me?” You seek their praise so you can feel confident in your abilities. Instead, focus on the criteria that will make the project successful. Keep working on it until it achieves the intended purpose. Anything else you do past this is you trying to control others’ perceptions of you. Get your rewards from putting out work that is valuable and helps other people, not from others complimenting you. 

Know the phase

Instead of pressuring yourself to make a project perfect, ask “What phase are we in, and how will my perfectionism affect the timeline and quality of the work?” If your team is still brainstorming, your focus on small details may be seen as a downer to other people. If you’re in the final execution stage, your perfectionism may be blocking it. Your perfectionism is more helpful during the planning and implementation phases.

Know the purpose 

It helps to know the purpose of your perfectionism. Are you doing it to get other people to compliment you? If so, your self-criticism is intended to manage other people’s perceptions. But you’ll never be perfect enough to control what other people do and say. Your criticism is supposed to help you work smarter, but usually just makes you work harder. 

In contrast, do you have a talent that enables you to do certain things more beautifully or effectively than others? If so, this might be the ‘right’ time to allow your energy to flow toward perfection. 

So next time you are tempted to criticize yourself or pressure yourself to be perfect, ask yourself: Is this helping me, or hurting me from being a leader?!

-Sharon Melnick, PhD, September 2015 Career Coach