A Week of Dislike: Facebook’s New Thumbs-Down Feature

Last week, while all of New York was assessing the spring trends of September Fashion Week, Mark Zuckerberg was quietly developing his pièce de résistance of this season: the Facebook dislike button. “We are working on it and are very close to shipping a test of it,” Zuckerberg said in his announcement regarding the new thumbs down. “Not every moment is a good moment.”

Could not agree more, so in a week-long, completely imaginary trial, I tested it out.

Facebook Dislike Trials, Day 1. Target: Overtly Successful High School Friends

Girl I Cheated off of in Bio September 18 at 5:34 PM: First test of Ivy League Medical School ACED! Gotta say, this wild ride is off to an amazing start and I just have to hold on tight and thank my parents, my personal trainer, my sweet boyfriend of 10 years, my study buddies — lol u know who you are!!! — and of course, myself. #blessed

Margaret Boykin Dislikes This

Test Notes to Self: Mild guilt upon clicking. Comforted by the fact that honesty is a virtue.

Facebook Dislike Trials, Day 2. Target: Those Who Dislike Spelling Things Correctly

Ex Boyfriend September 19 at 3:32 PM: U kno its the worst when cabbies drive us bikerz off the road. Come on dood, its not you’re road, duche bag. Your crazy.

Margaret Boykin Dislikes This

Test Notes to Self: Need to talk to Zuck about a LOL button. Need to talk to therapist about why I haven’t followed through with blocking ex-boyfriend.

Facebook Dislike Trials, Day 3. Target: Offensive Trend Pieces

Superior Women’s-Bible September 20 at 9:00 AM: Relationship Hack! Six Reasons He’s Probably Cheating on You, and How to Make Him Stay (Hint: Get dirty…but also cry!)

Margaret Boykin Dislikes This

Test Notes to Self: Read this later, though.

Facebook Dislike Trials, Day 4. Target: Mom’s Online Quiz

My Mother September 21 at 11:02 PM: Congratulations! The Sorting Hat Says You’re a GRYFFINDOR! Not surprised about this one!!!!

Margaret Boykin Dislikes This

Test Notes to Self: No way. Ravenclaw.

Facebook Dislike Trials, Day 5. Target: Sponsored Ads

Handsome Farmers Who Like Bagels September 22 at 8:43 AM: The dating app EVERYONE is talking about and that YOU Definitely Really Need!

Margaret Boykin Dislikes This

Test Notes to Self: Talk sternly to Zuckerberg about the protection of my personal data.

Facebook Dislike Trials, Day 6. Target: The Solicitor

My College Roommate September 23, 2005 at 1:07 AM: YO guys I know it’s been a few years since I’ve been on this old thing – who even uses Facebook, amiright? But I have a REALLY sick cause I need you guys to help me out with: my spiritual awakening. In the 5 years since graduation while living with my parents, I’ve decided that the heritage of my soul lies in India and my true purpose is to practice meditation in Pune, Maharashtra. However, flights are mad expensive so if you kind, gentle friends find it in your hearts to donate to my crowdfund page, FlyHariettHome, I’d send a million gentle blessings your way. #lifeisajourney

Margaret Boykin Dislikes This

Test Notes to Self: No.

Facebook Dislike Trials, Day 7. Target: My Past

Margaret Boykin September 1, 2005 at 1:07 AM: is We’re going down, down in an earlier round / And Sugar, we’re going down swinging / I’ll be your number one with a bullet /A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

Margaret Boykin Dislikes This

Test Notes to Self: Everybody makes mistakes.

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