So apparently Vladimir Putin got hold of a bad bowl of borscht and has come down with “end of days” diarrhea.

TASS, the Russian news agency, euphemistically describes it as “dysentery-like”.

You never really hear about the gastro-intestinal peculiarities of world leaders. You would never see a headline OBAMA GASSY; MICHELE AND THE GIRLS RETREAT TO EAST WING.

And it’s a damn shame.

I’m no fan of Putin, but I don’t hope he dies. I hope he makes it. “LIVE THROUGH THIS,” Courtney Love would tell him.

I can see Vlad now, nude and covered in sweat, perched on a Kremlin toilet going “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” I can see it now, but I sure as hell don’t want to.