Ask Isaac: Can I Check His Phone If I Think He’s Cheating?

Hey mate,

Don’t look at your boyfriend’s phone. In my experience (and this is firsthand experience), if you’re looking for something, you will find it — and then what? “Hey, I creepily went through your phone, found THIS, now let’s talk about it,” does not a good relationship consultation make. Best to keep your hands clean.

But let’s forget about his phone for a second: This does not sound like the basis for a secure and healthy relationship. Your friends (PLURAL!) have no reason to lie to you. They’re telling you he’s behaving badly. That right there is a strong enough reason to seriously question what’s going on here.

His behavior is making you feel insecure. Insecurity leads to jealousy, low self-esteem and general life dissatisfaction. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: Relationships are there to add value to our lives, not take it away. There’s no value-add in this scenario.

You need to sit down and have a serious talk with this guy. A no-nonsense, no-bullshit conversation. If he tries to tell you your friends are crazy or jealous or trouble-makers, keep in mind that they’re your friends, and that they’re probably none of those things. In fact, I kinda feel like the only conversation you need to have with him is, “We’re done.”

And for the record, checking your significant other’s phone is extremely addictive. It’s like smoking crack. I don’t think that anybody ever does it just the once.

Follow Isaac on Instagram here, Twitter here, and check out his website here. If you have a relationship question for our Ask a Guy series, email write@manrepeller.com with ASK ISAAC in the subject line. 

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