Strings of Fear: Behind the Scenes
The impact on those involved in the journey of making the film Strings of Fear was probably more lasting than any impact the film will ever have on any individual who watches it. It makes me wonder if that is true of all films and something that those of us who watch the finished product can never fully understand. For instance, I read an interview of Steven Spielberg where he talked about how he had wept as he watched young German actors joining Israelis to celebrate Passover on break during the making of the film Schindler’s List. Just imagine how moving it would have been to be a part of that. Pick the movie that has the most meaning for you and think of what it would have been like to be a part of making that movie. Wow!
As a low budget Indie, Strings of Fear was filmed in nine straight days from 7 in the morning until 11 at night. The whole experience was unforgettable. Remember, I was working at the time as a prosecutor of juvenile delinquents, so it was incredibly refreshing to be surrounded by such talented and creative youth. In between scenes, I would find many of them around a piano they found in the school hallway, composing songs.
Two particular incidents stand out for me. At one point, about half way through filming, I was talking with two of the young actors, explaining that many of the bullying scenes were based on a compilation of real life incidents from cases I had handled, and the newer cast member commented on how cruel people can be and how awful it was. This particular actor had been recommended for his part by the other one, who had informed me that he knew a talented actor who was perfect for the role. Just making conversation, I asked about how they had known each other, since they currently went to different schools. That’s when the conversation got interesting:
“We used to know each other in middle school, we were friends and used to spend a lot of time at each others houses,” the one boy commented.
“Yeah, we hung out a lot together back then,” the other answered in a matter of fact way.
“So, then in high school, we sort of stopped hanging out.”
“Yeah, you know, I don’t really remember why, but we didn’t really hang out any more in high school. I guess I ran with a different crowd.”
This was followed by awkward silence. Then, a sudden wide eye flash of knowledge crossed the newest cast member’s face.
“Wait a minute. I can’t believe this. I treated you like that. Wow. I’m playing me, aren’t I? Man, I’m really sorry. I never should have treated you like that. I don’t know what to say.”
“Yeah, hey don’t worry about it.”
“I can’t believe this. I never realized it. I never should have treated you like that. I’m really sorry.”
“Thanks man. It’s okay.”
I felt privileged to watch that moment of acknowledgement and reconciliation. In that moment, I realized that if not a single person ever watched the film, it had served its purpose.
The next incident was equally as memorable in its own way. The cast member who had auditioned off the street at the behest of his grandmother had trouble getting to rehearsals on time or at all. I didn’t know a lot about his current living situation, about all I knew was that he had grown up in the inner city. I also knew he really wanted to be a part of the cast, so I guessed that he might be having transportation issues. When he confirmed for me that this was the case, I offered to let him stay at my house for the duration of the actual filming. He had signed up for the military, but based on a letter from my office, he had been granted an extension of time before he would have to report for training. Now, I didn’t know much about him, so I went out on a limb inviting him to stay at my house. Still it’s not like I was alone in the house, since my two sons were there and so was the film crew. He accepted the offer, and I will never forget the conversation when we were travelling to my house in the car that evening after dark.
“So what made you decide to go into the military?” I asked, making polite conversation.
“I don’t know, I guess I just really like guns. I love all kinds of guns, I always have.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I love to shoot guns. Sometimes I…”
Now, I can’t remember what he started to tell me, but I do know that I realized it was something I did not exactly want to be hearing. Whatever it was he said, it had made me very uncomfortable.
“Hold on…you know what I do for a living, right?” I said, cutting him off.
“No, what are you a teacher or something?”
That was when I realized that he had probably not been present at the orientation meeting where I had explained that I was a criminal prosecutor and the purpose of the film was to prevent bullying and portray the relationship between bullying and crimes. That was one of the rehearsals he had missed due to transportation issues.
“Weren’t you at the meeting, where I explained what I do?”
“No. What do you do?”
“I’m a criminal prosecutor. I put kids in jail.”
I was driving along through a suburban neighborhood. The car was moving. He instantly grabbed for the handle of the door, as if to open the door to jump out. He hesitated, tensely, his hand on the handle.
“You’re the man. I hate people like you. I can’t do this.”
I didn’t know what to say. Minutes before we were having a friendly conversation and he was on his way to be a guest at my house. Now, he was calling me “the man,” and practically jumping out of my car.
I’m not sure how the rest of the conversation went, but I know he didn’t say much. When we got to the house, he went inside and within minutes was outside privately speaking with one of the film crew. He told me later that the film crew member had convinced him to give me a try since I had been nice enough so far.
So we both gave it a try. I had a new kitten who starred as Mr. Whiskers in the film. That young man gently cared for the kitten. He was kind, polite and respectful the entire time he stayed at my house. In fact, as it turned out, during some tense moments in the filming process he was the person I turned to for encouragement. To top it all off, his performance was brilliant. He even ended up ad libbing several memorable scenes. Yet, from my work, I had learned not to trust people with experiences like him, and he had been taught on the streets not to trust people with jobs like mine. I’m so glad we gave each other a chance!
Bullying is an abuse of power. Sometimes the person is trying to be popular and fails to open his eyes to the impact his actions are having on another person. Other times it is about judging other people without getting to know them. I produced Strings of Fear to try to teach people about bullying, but in the process, I ended up learning lessons myself. Little did I know how much I would learn about bullying first hand after the film was made.
