Strings of Fear: Sexual Bullying
As an author and screenplay writer I am sometimes unaware of how much of me and the events of my life go into my writing, until I reflect on it later. Therefore, it is fascinating to hear interviews where famous people tell about the pieces of their own lives that go into their work. One of my favorite directors, Steven Spielberg gave a revealing interview where he explained that some scenes in ET were based on his family and his parent’s divorce.
In Strings of Fear most of the isolated scenes are based on real cases that I handled in Court, but the characters are completely fictional and many of the scenes are conglomerations or variations of actual events.
One of the most controversial incidents in the movie was the one in which Scott claims to the principal that Dan was caught masturbating in the bathroom. Later, Casey shows what purports to be a photo of Dan in the bathroom to another cheerleader who proclaims that it is “Nasty!” The picture cannot be seen, but one can surmise that it would have had to have been photo-shopped. I’ll leave it at that, so as not to provide any spoilers.
The real case that gave me the idea for this story line was one in which a boy had been charged with assault for knocking out another boy in the hallway outside class. My victim was a very sympathetic teenager, I’ll call Dan. In middle school, another boy had started the rumor that a teacher had caught Dan masturbating in the bathroom. The rumor was totally untrue, but it spread like a virus through the entire school making Dan’s life miserable. Everywhere he turned, people taunted him as “Master Bates.” He was a shy, slight, and studious teenager, and the bullying caused him excruciating emotional pain. This went on for years. Finally, Dan was in a high school class with several of his tormenters, who retold the rumor in lurid detail and would not stop, even when he begged them. When class was dismissed, the bully approached Dan in the hall, still mocking him. Dan did something totally uncharacteristic: he took a swing at the bully. The bully easily dodged the awkward punch and then clocked Dan in the jaw, knocking him to the ground unconscious. Dan ended up in the emergency room and the bully was charged with assault.
I lost the trial. The bully pled self-defense and because Dan had struck first and the bully only punched once, the Judge found the bully not guilty. Now, I have since won other similar cases by arguing that one cannot provoke an incident and then plea self-defense, but the Judge did not buy that argument in this trial. I felt horrible having to tell the victim and his father that we had lost, knowing that this might add fuel to the fire and the rumors and bullying might now intensify. To this day, I can still see that boy’s face as I told him the news. The only consolation I could offer them was to educate them that we could have harassment charges filed against the bully if the taunting continued. I wished that someone had told them that before Dan had reacted in anger by trying to punch the bully.
Things could have turned out much worse. Years later, there are news reports of teenagers having committed suicide when faced with similar bullying. How many more have suffered silently?
The other real life incident, was one in which a teenage boy with intellectual disabilities had pulled down his own pants in the bathroom to urinate. Another boy snapped a photo of this, had the film developed (this was a few years back), and then made copies that he put up on the walls and distributed all over the school. It was a cruel act. I can only imagine the humiliation the poor target must have experienced. The perpetrator was arrested for criminally violating Privacy. That incident gave me the idea to have Scott disseminate photo-shopped pictures of Dan. For the movie, I updated the method to fit 2006 technology and demonstrate cyberbullying. Today the photo would be texted and spread much more rapidly.
When I gave speeches in schools, after explaining the types of bullying, I would typically ask the audience of students which type of bullying they found the most devastating: Physical, Verbal, Emotional, Cyber or Sexual. I gave hundreds of presentations across the country and every single time the votes were overwhelming: sexual bullying was the worst! I felt it was important to include this theme in Strings of Fear, without showing anything sexual, even if it meant the film would not be appropriate for the youngest of viewers.
The incident I have just described came from my work life but not from my personal life. The example I used about Spielberg related to his personal life, so it is only fair that I share one of my own.
One of the scenes in my movie was loosely based on an incident that I witnessed in middle school that is permanently etched in my memory. It was terrifying! I was at my locker, with my friend Karin. An overweight African American girl, (in a predominately white school), wearing flowered cotton elastic banded pants was walking down the hall carrying her books. From behind her, several of the “popular boys” appeared suddenly, and one, with tousled blonde hair and a mischievous grin, ran up behind her and pulled down her pants in one quick jerk, leaving them hanging around her ankles. The girl’s chunky legs and grandmotherly panties were exposed for the world to see. The flustered target reached down and pulled up her pants, but not quickly enough. The hallway erupted in laughter and taunts. I froze, terrified. The boy who did it thought he was a star. My friend, without missing a beat, shoved her books into my hands and went to the aid of the tearful girl. I lost all respect for the bully, found a deep and lasting respect for my friend and felt shame for freezing instead of helping the girl myself. That one incident summed up what I later researched, performed and taught: bystanders make all the difference. Bystanders can choose to provide the bully with the attention and power they are looking for or they can provide compassion to the target. With training and practice, bystanders can learn how to react in an instant with compassion.
The book, A Conspiracy of Decency, tells the story of the Danish people aiding the Jews during the Holocaust in World War II. These people acted with extreme courage but when interviewed they claimed that they had just done the decent thing. They were people who practiced small acts of compassion and kindness every day of their lives, so when the Holocaust came along they reacted with decency in spite of the danger. Listen closely and you will hear this lesson being taught by a teacher in Strings of Fear during the scene in which she assigns the “fear projects.”
Do you have a story about witnessing bullying and reacting with compassion or a time when you saw someone else do this? I’d love to hear about it here.
