Peter Piper Picked a Pair of Shoes

It’s been a while since this girl’s been on Tinder — not because I have so many boyfriends but because the app got super weird — but I will never forget the five universal truths:

1) You have to swipe forever until you see a good one.

2) Just because you find a good one doesn’t mean it’s a match.

3) Sometimes you DO match with a good one and then there’s a major caveat, like living in different states despite setting the appropriate filters.

4) Guaranteed, every time you think, “This person looks mostly awful and is not my type at all but I’m sick of swiping left,” this person will match with you, message you first, and make you regret that gamble-right.

5) If you keep playing, you eventually will see a good one, it’ll be a match, there will be no caveat, and one week later, you’ll find yourself on a date.

Shoe shopping online is exactly the same. You scroll FOREVER. Scroll, scroll, scroll. Your heart stops for a few — but they’re a billion dollars. Or not in your size. Or not available. Sometimes you’ll buy a pair you didn’t really love just because you needed nude-something to go with a bridesmaid’s dress, then never wear them again.

And of course, you know if you keep searching, you’ll find yourself in love. You may have to make a few compromises, sure, but that’s a relationship for you.

[image error]
Turn on your JavaScript to view content

Lift your eyes then, if you’d be so kind, to find the shoes of my right-swipe affection. Some are too much money, some are do-able with a little saving and street performing, some get the job done and one may or may not be on its way to my apartment as I type.

You only really need ONE pair, right? It’s just gotta be a good one. Share yours below. And happy Shoesday.

The post Peter Piper Picked a Pair of Shoes appeared first on Man Repeller.