5 Ways to Change Your Life Fast

When you were growing up, you likely weren't told to pay attention to what you think and how you think. However, we can’t do anything without having a thought, a belief, a perspective or an assumption that’s driving what we do or don’t do. 

If you pay attention to your thinking and your self-talk you can change your life, your behavior and your results faster than you might imagine. Here are five “thinking traps” you need to be aware of so you can avoid them or get out of them as soon as possible. In effect, you will change your life for the better and that change can happen in just a few minutes.

Premature Closure

Premature closure is reaching a conclusion prematurely and then closing your mind to anything that conflicts with your conclusion. If you tell yourself, “I can’t do this,” you’ll quit looking for ways to succeed at it. The problem isn't that you can't achieve something; the problem is you're deciding you can't without having all the information you need to see possibilities.

Solution:

Test your assumptions and conclusions. Whether it’s your belief of “I can’t” or your conclusion that someone at work is impossible to get along with, ask yourself if someone else is succeeding where you are failing. If they can succeed, why can’t you? 

Mind Reading

Mind-reading is believing you know what someone thinks or feels—even though they haven’t told you what they’re thinking or feeling. Mind-reading happens when we project our thoughts and feelings onto someone else and believe they are theirs. 

Solution:

Ask, don’t assume. Is your boss or friend angry with you? Maybe. But you won’t know for sure until you ask them. You might feel your team doesn’t recognize your talent. How do you know? Test your assumption by taking a risk and asking your team what they think of you.

Labeling

Children often grow up with labels. A parent might say, “Janet is shy” and Janet grows up thinking that’s just the way she is. Labels become a part of your self-identity. However, your label isn't who you are, it's just a label. There is a big difference between saying “I’m undisciplined” and saying “I often don’t follow through.” The first one labels you as an Undisciplined Person and the second one simply describes a behavior.

Solution:

If you’re going to label yourself, give yourself an inspiring label. Give yourself a label that motivates you and then grow into it. Label yourself as “Fearless” and then take small steps out of your comfort zone a few times a week and soon you will be that confident and bold person.

"Should" Thinking

You engage in "should" thinking when you think in terms of “should,” “ought,” “should have” and “have to.” As in, “I have to lose weight." That thought weighs you down and make life more difficult. The late Dr. Albert Ellis called this “shoulding” all over yourself. It’s not a pretty metaphor but it gets the point across. 

Solution:

Start catching the imperatives in your thinking—words that imply you don’t have a choice. Tell yourself you do have a choice and change your thinking and self-talk to, “I choose to do this—no one is forcing me to do anything.”

“Awfulizing”

That’s Dr. Ellis's psychological term for heavy duty worrying. It’s also called Catastrophic Thinking and it’s often paired with Fortune Teller Thinking. That happens when you predict something in the future will be terrible in some way. You “awfulize” something when you “make a mountain out of a molehill.” Awfulizing and Fortune Teller Thinking are responsible for procrastination. We put things off because we predict the task will be more difficult or unpleasant than it would actually be. 

Solution:

Practice putting things into perspective. If you’re having a hard time doing that, talk to someone and get their perspective on it.

- Alan Allard, Executive Coach