At Last! Presenting Whiner of the Year 2010!
Some years, like last year, we give the award as an honor. 2009′s Whine Person of the Year was Ms. Kathleen Givens, beloved class act, grace personified. Also see previous winner Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger.
Some years, like most years, we give the award in the snarky spirit of calling out true whiners or those worthy of contempt. There was the very first Whine winner, Tom Cruise (the year he jumped on Oprah's couch and called Matt Lauer "glib."). Or Lynne Spears, Britney's mom, the year Brit had a breakdown and younger sister Jamie Lee had a baby, but Lynne was still writing a parenting advice manual (yet to be published, surprise!).
This year? We're not feeling the Pollyanna vibe. Well, admittedly, some of us are and there was much debate if we should give the award as an honor to Betty White or in the spirit of snark to– that's right, snark won. Why? Because it's my day to blog the winner (muwhahaha). Oh, you're still waiting for the big announcement. Drumroll please…
Whiner(s) of the Year 2010: The Kardashians!
[image error]Totally kool, right? Well, they're all pictured but it's sisters Kim(in white), Kourtney (in the menswear suit), and Khloe (peach ruffles) up for the award. It all started with a white bronco.
You remember? OJ's getaway car! Yes, that white Bronco.
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Kardashian's Kar
It was OJ friend Robert Kardashian's vehicle assisting OJ in that fateful drive into what could have been the sunset but ended up jail, and trial. Kardashian, father of Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, and Robert Jr, was divorced from wife Kris when he took over OJ's defense. Kris went on to marry former Olympics Golden Boy Bruce Jenner, stepdad of Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, and Robert Jr, and dad to two younger daughters with Kris (also with K names). Robert passed away. Konfused?
Well, don't be. Because all that has very little to do with the Kardashian Sisters' true claim to fame. Which is? Kim made a sex tape!
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Oh, kome on now, Kim, don't look so shocked!
She was Paris Hilton's good friend, and she took a page out of the Paris playbook to finding fame: make a sex tape, and pretend to want it stopped (to get more attention– OMG, someone's trying to sell my private sex tape!) while actually negotiating for its eventual licensed and approved release. Klever!
Kim's sex tape (with singer Brandy's brother Ray J) and her trademark kurves apparently kaused kuite a stir. Apparently. Because before you know it, E! network was giving Kim a kontract for a reality show with her sisters.
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Kourtney, mother of Mason with boyfriend Scott Disick
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Khloe, newly a redhead (Kute!), is married to basketball star Lamar Odom.
And they kontinue to make headlines by… not doing much of anything really. E! likes ratings and so they are sure to send the Kardashians to all the big parties and premieres and of kourse, they have publicists getting kreative to stir up the drama and make sure these girls stay in the tabloids for still not much of anything.
Kourtney fights with her baby daddy. News! Khloe dyes her hair. News! Kim goes on a date with a new guy. News! She even had a little flirtation going with hot flavor of the month Justin Bieber. Guaranteed news! And it's all one big media manipulation to keep the klassy, konservative Kardashians front and kenter , er, center (sorry, got karried away).
The biggest Kardashian whine of the year? From Kim, on regretting getting naked for Playboy. How she finally got over it? By posing naked for W magazine! And then about three more. I'm sure she feels much better now. Their other big regret?
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No, not the outfits. Though the turban's got to go!
Agreeing to sponsor a kredit kard for kids or adults with little to no, or bad, kredit. The terms were so unfavorable to the konsumer that the Konnecticut attorney general's office got involved and threatened legal action. And before you know it, the Kardashians parted ways with the kard kompany, which is now suing them. More news! Those girls are always in the news. The latest. Is Khloe preggers? Find out soon on her new show, a spin off of her own. Wow, E! network really loves these Kardashians.
Let's all wish them a hearty kongratulations for kapturing our attention this year (who could avoid them) and wish them a happy early retirement. I've seen enough. (Literally Kim, enough! Keep your klothes on!).
What do you think of the Whiners of the Year? Would you have chosen differently?
