Ask Isaac: Where Do I Meet Guys?

Mate! I would not insult your intelligence by telling you “you’ll meet a guy when you least expect it.” But I would also not recommend anybody — female or otherwise — to frequent the bar-or-club scene in an attempt to meet well-adjusted humanoids or potential marriage-mates. In my experience, people “looking” at bars are looking for casual sex, not longterm love and commitment.

Okay, so: I come from a country (New Zealand) where the concept of sitting opposite someone you don’t know and eating dinner or having coffee or whatever (aka dating) is completely foreign. While I admire Americans and the courage you exhibit in the pursuit of love, I’ve gotta say that our way is so much easier.

Here’s what we do: We have drinks or BBQs or dinners or whatever, where a bunch of friends (male and female) get together. We invite people, they bring more people and everybody gets to know everybody else in a relaxed group environment. There’s no pressure to sell oneself or worry about conversation lulls or anything else. PLUS, everybody is co-signed because you know they’re the friend of someone you’re friends with.

As the night goes on, natural alliances form. Maybe somebody gets sloppy and tries to make out with somebody in front of everybody else, phone numbers are exchanged, and you do it all again the next night or the next weekend or whenever suits.

If you don’t meet anybody you like, that’s fine, because you just tell people to invite different people the next time round. I cannot even tell you the amount of friends I have who have met their future girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, or baby daddy in this exact setting. 75% of the time it works every time. Trust me!

Summed up in a sentence: throw a party.

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