A Floaty Crop Top How-To

It is amazing how other people can “ruin” a piece of clothing for us. It’s not actually their fault; we of the fast fashion generation simply have a lower threshold when it comes to our trend attention spans.

But what happens when your little sister buys the same sort of cropped, floaty top that you bought on a whim (“It’s so not me, but isn’t it fun for summer??”) — the one that you haven’t worn yet because you haven’t quite figured out how without feeling too…something, so you’ve been saving it. Saving it for a birthday or a party or night with strong Instagram potential.

And then your little sister posts a picture of herself in this very same top, paired with teeny tiny cutoffs and a dramatic amount of feather jewelry.

Oh god, you think. Is that how these things are worn? You were in no way prepared for this much skin. Or poultry-related accessories.

Hey! Earth to you, monkey bread! Things are worn however you damn please and if Justin Timberlake can take back the night then you can take back the frilly top!

And we’ll do it together, because a top was almost ruined for me until Leandra reminded me to get a little funky.

First, let’s do it like they do on the millennial channel and keep it casual.

Tibi top, Madewell jeans, Iro Paris sandals, Eugénie dress worn as vest.

Pair your top (it is a “top,” by the way — as opposed to a shirt — when it’s this tiny) with baggy jeans and biblical sandals to keep it coooool. Add a vest over for a little bit of structure. Or you know, don’t.

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Now let’s do it the party pants way.

H&M pants (similar here), Fendi sunglasses, Rosie Assoulin bag.

What we have here, my friends, is a classic case of debunking volume myths. Wide leg pants plus a peplumed top = funky aunt Carol on her way to the Whitney.

(And if you can smell what the Rock is cooking then you can definitely suss out who barraged me with accessories JUST as I was leaving the office to be shot. Hint: Leandra, part time back up dancer for Bruno Mars and full time supporter of the uptown funk.)

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Now what? Grab your sister’s shirt (you just spilled something on yours) and run, Garden, run!

Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis

Big ups to Hadley Mendelsohn and Ella Viscardi on their help with the market barz.

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