How Many Shoes Are Too Many Shoes?

According to the Fall 2015 couture season, coupled with the previous ready-to-wear season and the house of Chanel at large, all you need — like a soul (sole?) mate — is 1.

So scratch that, Harry Nilsson: one is not the loneliest number. When it comes to footwear it is both the most cost-effective and optimal choice of number.

Did you hear that, Daft Punk? One more time won’t cut it. We’re going to celebrate just once.

And where were you, self, when the memo initially got sent out? Reliving January 1st, 2013? Or was it July 8th of the same year? March 11th of the one following?

Pathetic.

If you’re wondering how I’ve inferred the above, I invite you to scroll through the Fall ready-to-wear and couture collections of Chanel on the soon-to-decamp Style.com and tell me what you see.

If you can’t see because you’re wearing an eye patch (it’s National Johnny Depp Performed a Great Performance in Pirates of the Caribbean Day, right?), just know that the former show included a single pair of classic black and beige slingbacks. This did not detract from the diversity of the simultaneous puffer coats and ladylike skirts, sleek boxy jackets and elaborate dresses of the rest of the collection. For Couture, there were shoes that looked a little paper airplanes or origami depending on what you did for fun before you turned 15.

I’m inclined to vet in favor of this mandate pretty relentlessly. If not for the aforementioned cost-effectiveness it espouses than because in isolated (albeit trivial) instances, it’s true what they say about choice — that with the absence of it, 80% of your problems are almost immediately relinquished. This, of course, neither hangs you on a hook nor leaves you off of it, so weigh da fuq in. How many shoes are too many shoes and would you commit to a pair a year (fine, season) with no problem? Which would they be?

I think for fall I’m going with…

Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis. Chanel Shoes via Style.com

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