Q&A: Pre-school Transition?

Our daughter will be starting a new pre-school that is her pre-k 3 class. It’s going to be a big adjustment for her because she’s been at the same daycare since she was 6 months old and has several friends there that she talks about all the time at home and really enjoys playing with. Do you have any tips or recommendations for making it easier?

 

It sounds like the school shift is a positive change. And, it’s a change. I love all the things are you already doing. Good stuff. Here’s what I would add:

Before you talk much more about the transition, check in with yourself. See if you are feeling fear about the transition? If yes, just allow it to be there. After a bit, ask yourself what you are afraid of. Are you worried she won’t like it? That she’ll feel big feelings about it? etc. It’s possible she will feel big feelings but that’s alright. That’s part of growth and change.

Taking the time to explore your own emotions around this change is important. Why? Because, she’s going to vibe off of you. If you are calm, honest and matter-a-fact about the transition she will assume this is just something that is happening for your family. Part of life. If you are anxious, tentative and worried about how she will handle it, she will sense that and perhaps feel like it’s a bigger deal then it is. I guess what I’m saying is it’s worth you getting clean and clear about your feeling on the situation so that she is free to have her own experiences/reactions to the change. And in the midst of that, she feels your steady presence.

And with that said, I highly recommend holding this mantra (just shared it with another mama who is in the midst of change with her kids too).

MEET THE MOMENT

column_break

 

You can’t possibly predict how your daughter will react to the change. If you can be open to meeting the moment, accepting that there may be feeling at times and that’s just part of the process, she will feel your presence. She will feel your steady support. She will feel loved and cared for through this transition. Just be with your daughter. If she’s talking about her old school and old friends, crying because she is missing what she knew, etc. just be there. Let her feel what she feels. It doesn’t mean you made a bad decision or something is wrong. It just means that she’s grieving what she knew and transitioning in to a new experience. Totally normal and healthy.

Let her feel what she’s feeling and be present and loving and empathetic in the midst of it all. There is emotional weather that comes with change. That’s a healthy part of the process. Having a safe and steady caregiver to lean into in the midst of change is as good as it gets.

You got this!

Carrie