Fitting in

Nobody ever blossomed from being belittled. Shame holds no inspirational qualities. Nobody ever lashed out because they felt wonderful about who they were. These are opposing actions and emotions that cannot work together.

I work in a primary school and I see children trying to find their way everyday. Each is individual and coming from a different place. All are trying to feel less awkward in their own skin.

Sometimes they are on the outside looking in. These are the ones that follow me around at playtime, telling me the antics of their little brothers, just making conversation to fill in that long lonely stretch of 'free time' until the bell goes again and they are saved from the awkwardness of not being a part of anything that the other children are doing.

Others run desperately after the 'pack' trying to be included but always bearing the brunt of the jokes made by others. Their purpose is to amuse the 'pack' that are also trying to find their way and who choose to use the 'tag along' as a source of getting attention themselves: teaching the new foreign boy rude words then turning him in to the principal to get into trouble; teasing and tormenting him until he fights back with a kick or a slap and then gleefully playing the victim and watching him get in trouble again.

These are all age-old antics of children finding their way but it does not help to write a child off as a bad seed instead of remembering that they are a work in progress (as are we all). It is our job (not to mention a natural moral obligation) to build their self worth so that they do not feel set aside nor feel the need to step on others to rise up in the pecking order.
We don't all 'fit in' and we don't all need to. Being okay with being who you are will ultimately make you okay with letting everyone else be who they are too and being okay with being alone can be the best realisation ever. That's when the cogs of creativity can really start turning.
It is frighteningly easy to mould a child. Just make them feel wonderful about themselves. the rest will fall into place when its good and ready.