I’ve Never Had a Facial Before

I’ve never had a facial before.

The whole thing is beginning to haunt me. I told someone three weeks ago in the sort of hushed tone a 16-year-old confesses she is still a virgin and as suspected, the receiving end of my confession gasped like I had told her I was dying.

Then, like two nights ago, as my husband appraised his reflection in the magnifying-mirror situated in our bathroom, I heard him say from under his breath, “I need a facial.”

I stopped short and yelled “what?” in a dramatic, nonsensical one-syllable staccato.

Incidentally, he was/is no stranger to facials. He gets them quarterly, in fact.

I never knew this.

We’ve been married three years.

You think you know someone and then bam, their skin maintenance routine is so far superior to yours, you may as well call yourself a crater. It’s like you’re back on a first date. Only you share a bed. A bed! But I digress.

The fact of the matter is, we’re all dying.

I’m just kidding.

I mean, I’m not, but we can talk about that later.

My pores, on the other hand, need me now. More even than my flapping annies do. So, I’m giving grooming a chance. I’ve started by crowdsourcing facials from industry friends:

Fivestory’s Claire Distenfeld raves about the facials at JTav Clinical Skin Care by Joie Tavernese: “She is like an angelic Cupid who pierces me with arrows for dewy, pore-less skin instead of love. There’s no BS. She just does whatever she needs to do to get you out of there looking your absolute best.”

Laura, our Ask a French Girl, goes to Mario Badescu — but only in the winter. Why? “Because they put my hands into a warm plastic warmer thing with creme.”

Sold!

At least two fashion editors and one beauty editor sang the high praises of Joanna Vargas, Anastasia Nairne of Net-A-Porter likes the Erno Laszlo Institute and Shiona Turni (and apparently Jay Z) swear by Skin by Mamie.

But for a beginner like me wetting her toes in the spa’s pool of relaxation, do you recommend anything of particular note? Have you gone anywhere you loved, tried anything at home that changed your life or come to learn a secret about non-facial facials that you would be so kind as to share with your pal, me?

I promise for an update in return and maybe a margarita.

Ttyl!

Photograph by Krista Anna Lewis of Photograph via i-D Magazine

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