These 3 Words Mean Your Date is Doomed

When I first moved to New York, I became obsessed with dating.

Hailing from a relatively small city in Wisconsin where I split my male-oriented time between getting set up with that one “I can’t believe he’s still single” friend of a friend and accidentally dating people who were a little too close to the family tree, I was thrilled to finally encounter a dating pool unencumbered by the suffocating expectations of others and the very real threat of incest.

I dated producers, professional sailors, mysterious “entrepreneurs,” stand up comedians, sit down comedians, writers, pseudo writers, photographers, sleazy salesmen, one notable psychopath and a slew of unjustifiably overconfident finance guys.

Through it all, one thing became clear.

If a date ended with the line, “This was fun,” the second date was unquestionably and irrevocably doomed.

Counterintuitive, for sure. Upon further investigation, however, the phenomenon makes a bit more sense. Thanks to the tireless patience of 25 confused yet wholly participatory friends and a surprisingly accommodating sample of past dates, I’ve discovered the loose psyche behind the all-too-common “this was fun” date night conclusion.

Telling someone you had “fun” without intent to follow up has been attributed to politeness (It would be rude to say nothing, right?), a dose of honesty (I really did have a nice time…but something better came along), or laziness/curiosity (I want to see if the other person initiates the next contact).

It also highlights the inane human need to fill silence.

The only dates I can recall myself concluding with the statement “I had fun” were those on which I quite literally could not think of anything else to say. “Fun” is so generic. Cold. Abstract. It’s not needed if a crush is forming.

For example, I really did have fun, instead of saying, “This was fun — let’s do this again,” I tend to either:

A) Get awkward and sort of half wave while backing up into oncoming traffic, or B) Get physical.

In fact, only 1 out of 25 midnight-text-polled individuals in my study assured me that telling a girl he had “fun” at the end of a date was an indicator of whether or not he would follow up with her in the future. Everyone else seemed to regard the statement as an empty placeholder relied upon to counteract uncomfortable silence.

Could this be?

Is it possible that the once-affectionate phrase devolved into an indicator of mutual apathy?

Could a date night trope have become a precursor of date night devastation?

Two days ago, I went on a date. Come the evening’s finale, neither of us acknowledged that a good time was had. If we go out again, I intend to claim my theory as fact. Will keep you updated.

Original Photo via Hugo Boss. Original Carousel Photo via GQ France. Check out Gabrielle’s blog here.

The post These 3 Words Mean Your Date is Doomed appeared first on Man Repeller.