Ask lunaKM – Rebuilding Body Confidence

Hi Luna,
I’m hoping that you can give some good insight.
You discussed in one of your videos, the need to be vulnerable.  My biggest barrier is how I view my body.  I’m full-figured and just assume that there isn’t any man on earth that would want me.  I just make the assumption and behave as though they have already rejected me.  Makes me so sad because I shut everyone down before anything can happen.  I know that you’re not afraid and have confidence.  How did you get to that point?
Help…

Thank You
For your time
Mary

Hi Mary,

It has taken me almost 20 years to get to the confidence level I have with my body image. I am obese but that doesn’t ruin my identity any longer. I am not my weight. My weight does not define me. These very words were used to chant in the mirror for weeks if not months as I found parts of my body that I didn’t hate and focused on them. It took a long time for me to feel comfortable so I can’t say how long it will take you to overcome your own barriers. If your body image is affecting your everyday life, you could find therapy helpful.

I mentioned a focus task that I used to help me learn to love myself. Every day I’d look in the full length mirror and found one part of my body that I liked and focused on it while repeating the phrases above to reaffirm a positive self-image.

Of course, your own personal work might not be enough. How do the people around you support you? Are they negative? If they are, I’d consider cutting what ties I could. There’s no reason to be with people who constantly tell you that you are fat, or that you’d look pretty if only…. It’s hard to tell family that you are distancing yourself, but a single negative comment could undo a ton of work.

This isn’t to say that once you’ve improved your outlook that you can’t rebound. There are days that I still hate my body or that I don’t like the way clothing fits. But I don’t let that get me down for long. I redo the mirror exercise and the meditation to try to reclaim my confidence.

Here are more tips and ideas for improving your body confidence:

6 Ways to Boost Your Body Confidence
10 Secrets to Body Confidence
Body Confidence Tips

Do you have a question or would like to get some advice? All questions are anonymous. Ask lunaKM!

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