When to Say NO

Why do we say yes when we mean no? Is it because we are people-pleasers? Many of us are taught as children to play nice and avoid making waves. I certainly was. For this reason, we may feel like we don’t have permission to say no. 

Some of us find it hard to say no because we are afraid that friends or colleagues will think poorly of us if we turn them down.

Say no when

• You are overworked and one more commitment will totally overwhelm you.

• You’ve moved on to another job and a coworker from your former assignment is constantly asking for advice in the form of evening e-mails.

• You’re not that fond of the person asking for help, and you don’t want to go out of your way for him.

• You’ve been working late every night for a week and a half, and your family needs some quality time with you.

Say yes when

• It is an emergency and no one else is left at work to help out.

• Taking the assignment will give you heightened visibility with top management.

• You’ve said no several times recently, and you don’t want to lose an office ally.

• What’s being asked doesn’t require much of your time.

Adapted from The Confidence Myth: Why Women Undervalue Their Skills and how to Get Over It, by Helene Lerner,  Berrett-Koehler 2015.