Submissive Mythology: The Good Submissive
from the Submissive Guide Newsletter 3/7/15
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission.
Good – better – best – favorable – bountiful – fertile – handsome – attractive – suitable – fit – profitable – advantageous – pleasant – agreeable – salutary – wholesome – amusing – clever – considerable – ample – full – well-founded – cogent – real – actualized…
Sufficient to understand why when the word is used no one quite knows exactly what is meant. What is a good submissive? Is it any or all the things above, even when those things seem contradictory? Why do we feel the need to clarify or narrowly identify this special condition?
Subjective ~ of, relating to, or constituting a subject or characteristic of one that is subject especially in lack of freedom of action or in submissiveness.
We say that good is subjective or based on the individual or independent perspective of the individual rendering an evaluation of value.
What is this intense need to set standards of measure and evaluation? Does this clinging to of ego supports or pride contribute to the act of or performance of submission by the individual themselves? Is not a submergence or relinquishment of the ego a necessary forestep to submission itself?
I find many ‘measures’ of what constitutes or ‘is’ the demonstration of a ‘good’ submissive. To me each attempt to measure or set standards is a demonstration of failure to comprehend the base nature of submission itself. These attempts are flawed by the concept or idea that a relative measurement can corral or hold within it that which is the submissive and act of submission itself.
The theory that any individual can go to school (or through ‘training’) ‘learn’ how to be a submissive and that the nature of what motivates, empowers and sustains a submissive can be somehow transmitted through lessons suggests a gross misunderstanding of what submission truly is. (lunaKM adds: That’s why I focus on personal enrichment and understanding instead of telling how to be submissive. All forms of submission are unique and personal expressions of your best self. You can take lessons and go through training to learn how to be a better you.)
Emergence is not a process of ‘becoming’ but a process of spiritual birth. The submissive exists at the core of the being. They are. They exist. At some point the submissive begins tearing down the walls of their ‘shell’ or ‘egg’ to reveal or give birth to themselves in their natural form. Many things can act to aid the submissive in this process of emergent birth through tools of understanding, new pathways of thought and the support of others who have emerged before them in words of encouragement and embracement. But, the actual shape or design of the individual cannot be molded at actualization. If this were true it would mean that again the submissive can be ‘created’ from something that it isn’t.
Emergence is not the action of molding, training, modeling or shaping of some indistinct mass but instead the simple straight forward casting off of the ill-fitting expectations and assumptions of those surrounding them, the removal of things which no longer work for the individual but have been outgrown and need to be discarded or removed. Revealing of the core requires that the individual face and confront at every juncture those things which have produced and maintained the shell inside of which they have hidden from view. These things are personal fears of the judgment of others, shame in the inner belief of the purity of the self, guilt in the inability to truthfully adhere to the desires and needs of others expectations of them and finally pain.
This is a removal of the tools used to control the individual. The tools used to keep the individual within the shell, in hiding. Weak! True voluntary submission at its pinnacle occurs when the individual is no longer controllable. At a moment when the submissive is clean and free of all of the debris of their lives, no longer needing anything to be who they are. In that moment when they are free of all controls, needs, desires, wishes, wants and expectations their offering of service unto their personal belief is cleansed.
A cleansed submissive is an indomitable force. Invulnerable to the temptations and manipulations of the world and others around them. An offering of this purity of being, this force within is without any question the greatest gift that can ever be offered from one human being to another.
A Dominant can train a monkey to bob and weave and run around for treats. If this realm were merely about the offering of the body for the entertainment or sustenance of the illusion of submission then any actor could fill the role and play the game. After all, treats are cheap.
But this isn’t about the simple offering of the body, or the offering of easy things. Is it?
Written by F.R.R. Mallory – also known as Mistress Steel. This article may be excerpted from Extreme Space, The Domination and Submission Handbook, Safe, Sane and Consensual, Dangerous Choices or other books by F.R.R. Mallory and shared here with her permission. Please click on the book title for information on how you can order a copy of these books and others by F.R.R. Mallory.
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