What Should I Wear to The CFDAs?

In approximately four hours, a relatively large slew of men and women who are in some way tied to the institution of fashion will convene at Lincoln Center in creative black tie to applaud a handful of hugely talented designers who are slated to win awards delegated by the Council of Fashion Designers of America. Instagram will receive an award, too — for not just moonlighting but frankly becoming a very reliable source of news within fashion. That award will be presented by Kim Kardashian.

In spite of the seminal moments that tonight will invariably supply, one thing many people likely don’t realize is that it could signify something else entirely. Something…stark.

How? What? Why? Well, if I don’t figure out what to wear, the night will also go down, at least in the photo album that is my mother’s memory as the night that Man Repeller’s Leandra Medine approached Alice Tully Hall, nipples a-blazing and bikini line unkempt and possibly too, got arrested for public nudity.

So, please, make like the sisters I have always assumed you to be and decide for me: what in the good name of green faille flaps should I wear tonight? If you were me and the above photos were your options, would you go the “elevated gardner” route or accept that your arms and chest will probably never look as fit again (I have done pilates like four times in the last two months!) and as such should be galvanized?

Pray. Tell.

Speaking of social media as a reliable news source, Caitlyn Jenner’s Vanity Fair  cover was released on Twitter. Speaking of “creative black tie,” here’s how to do your hair for such an event with little effort. Click here to see the current CFDA incubator class. You know who else has been recognized by the CFDA? Rihanna.