“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 12
*This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat*
I saw this picture and it captivated me…it silently spoke to me telling me, “Sanjo, don’t let the things you’ve been taught to believe about yourself, this life and God make you so rigid that you bear unhealthy or no fruit at all because you will not bend and stretch your mind to hear the God in you! To talk to God, to check in with SELF to see what YOU believe, to still your mind and hear the GREAT I AM and bloom where you stand! Move, Dance, Blossom and let others see it’s a beautiful thing to be FREE!”
I had to finally sit down and seek God for myself. One on one. Me and God. I had to not only do this for me but for my children and my children’s children. God is an awesome God and when we truly seek Him…we will find Him. I wrote in my journal daily, walked and talked with God. During this time I also was battling health issues, I was having severe back pain for over seven years that would render me immobile. My children would have to literally carry me to the bathroom and take care of me at such young ages. I also fell frequently due to my balance being off. I was getting fed up and tired. I was tired of struggling, tired of being sick, tired of being angry, tired of being sad…JUST TIRED! Prayer and meditation began to change me, fill me with peace and give me hope.
Remember earlier I mentioned how there are times you have to call on the troops? Well God started building my troops before I knew that’s what they were. He lined my front line up and built them strong enough to stand up to me when the Lioness in me began to roar and roam like she could handle everything alone. I had to learn that my troops were no good if I never called on them to fight! God sent Donald Lambert who I met at a training class for MVM Security. In walks this 6 foot something muscular, cocky dude who was making everyone laugh. When he offered to treat a few of us ladies to lunch, I went. We have been inseparable ever since. He was one of the 1st men to genuinely like me for me and not try to get me into bed. We became the best of friends.
Then there was the man I called dad long before meeting my biological father. He was actually my Project Manager at work. I was in my twenties and Randolph Gresham would always give me fatherly advice never once trying to crack on me. One day my car broke down in front of the job and I was out there tinkering under the hood when he came out and took a look at it. He got it to work, told me what it needed and told me to bring it past his house that weekend so he could show me how to fix it. My facial expression must have showed what I was thinking because he said, “that way you can meet my wife as well.” I felt better about that. He became the 2nd male friend/father to love me for me.
I went that weekend and sure enough, I met his wife and we changed my oil, distributor cap and spark plugs. I was dirty but it felt good. It was an odd feeling of love I had never felt before.
After that, he would get on me if I came to work out of uniform in a skirt too short or if he caught me flirting at work. He started really treating me like his child and I didn’t resent it. One day I didn’t have lunch money and I asked if he could buy me lunch, he jokingly said he’s gonna have to start claiming me on his taxes as his daughter and I said okay dad. That stuck and some 16yrs later I still call him dad and his family is my family as they all embraced me with open arms, even when he remarried, his wife loves me and mine as much as we love her. He was the only granddad my kids knew until my biological father found me.
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