“Lord, I’m On “E”…Can I Get a Refill…Fulfilled?” Blog Series Part 11
*This entry is a part of a continuous series, reading the previous entries will help you follow without missing a beat* 
There comes a point in every man’s life when he has to say: ‘Enough is enough.’~ Lance Armstrong
I came to a point where I realized life was not “happening to me” I was directing it and ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH! I declared, I am taking my life back and that is exactly what I did. I began writing and performing my poetry more frequently and released my 1st book, Black Butterfly…Soaring on the Wings of Poetry which did pretty well. Writing this book was true Poetic Therapy because at first I believed I was writing for myself, but each time I would get on the mic, someone would tell me that I am telling their story. Women would cry and say “thank you” when I left the stage and I was beginning to remember that God had a bigger calling on my life. I thought back to my days of speaking in school, to speaking in my early 20’s. Sharing my story is a large part of how He gifted me to reach other people. I had my own line of positive t-shirts and a cafe press store with everything from mugs, bags, hats, tees, journals, etc…ALL with my sayings on them. With that said, like a puzzle I could place together the pieces and the bigger picture is what I now have in view. I can’t quite make it out yet but I can see that it is shaping into a beautiful picture.
Church played a heavy roll in my life and at the time I needed a straight forward teaching that would penetrate this knuckle head of mine and God sent me where I needed to be during that time. This chapter of my life covers about a 10year span of carrying the “Little Girl Lost” as she began to feel strong enough to walk beside me and trust me enough to respond to situations instead of her reacting to them. I even practiced celibacy for 5yrs to learn a little more about me. It was hard at first but then it got easier, the more I began learning what I like. Day by day I was learning to love me.
I started studying my history more. Studying powerful women and reading self help books, autobiographies, and business books. I began doing more inner work to clean my cup on the inside in preparation for the overflow.
As I went from church to church seeking answers that I now know were inside of me all along; in hindsight it reminds me of how I went from man to man seeking a love that was already in me through the God in me.
See, those core beliefs that I had were not my beliefs. They were beliefs that were placed inside of me by my mom, my family, my churches, and society therefore, I had to also say enough is enough to all of the societal beliefs and other beliefs I let seep deep into my soul.
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