When a Writer Can’t Write
When a writer can’t write, this is a very bad thing. Well, at least I know it is for me. I admit I’m a pretty moody and emotional person anyway, but when I can’t write, it’s ten times worse than usual.
Writing is a part of me and when I can’t do it, I feel like I’m losing a little bit of myself each day that passes without a word going onto the page.
The fact remains though, that life is life and I am a mother of five children, a wife who spoils her hubby and a woman who works a day job. Not to mention the property chores and house chores that need doing every day. So, writing, though it is my main source of income, tends to come last.
It hurts that it comes last. It hurts that I can’t sit down and spend hours at a time working on one of my stories. I could neglect the chores or the garden or the yard, but then I would feel guilty for not doing those things.
It is an endless battle, the artists struggle.
I write when I can, but sometimes I find myself falling asleep at the keyboard because I’m so exhausted. This whole fight to write makes me even crazier than I already am. There is not enough time for all of this.
I have mentioned all of this before and get a variety of comments about it. Some of which are, enjoy your children, they are only young once.
Yes, I know this, and I do enjoy them. I spend every day, all day with my kids. Except when they are at school. However, it would be nice if I was able to write more, to make more money, so that we can do things we enjoy. I would feel better when I spent time with them if I got some words on the page and had accomplished something.
Another comment is, You can just write in your spare time.
Yeah, I could write in my spare time. I DO write in my spare time. That is the only time I have to write.
For me, writing is a job, not a hobby. However, even if it was a hobby I would still feel this way if I couldn’t write. So … the question remains, how do we divide our time? How do we place a priority on all the important things in our life?
Some say make a schedule, but when you have crazy work schedules and children with crazy schedules, you learn to fly by the seat of your pants. So, that is how it shall continue until things calm down.
We have to keep on keepin on and hope that it all works out in the end. Finding time to write will probably always be a struggle for me and I accept that. In a couple years the kids will all be in school and perhaps then, I can have a real writing schedule. Until then, I cherish the little bits of time I can get in each day.
One last thing … I have to tell myself this last part all the time because we work so hard that it is easy to forget. Don’t ever forget rule #32 … Enjoy the little things!
