The Grind

I'm drinking some coffee this morning, looking into the morning sun and trying to rub the exhaustion out of my eyes. Tired eyes are the best eyes, though. When you're eyes are tired, it means one of a couple things. It usually means your anxious, excited, nervous or a combination. When my eyes are tired, it usually means I'm driven. This time, it's the truth. I've started another book. :)

With "The Big Red Devil" selling and proving, to myself I guess, that I actually do have a talent for this, I want a book to start pitching to publishers. Since I published "The Big Red Devil" myself, that's out of the question. Most publishers are going to require exclusive first publishing right and I can no longer provide that with "The Big Red Devil." What's the worst that can happen? They say 'no' and I print it myself anyway. It's a kickass story, so it's win in either of those scenarios.

I'm really flying. It's writing itself, it's got that kind of magic--at least inside me, anyway. I'm going about double my normal speed. It also got me thinking, thinking about the drive, the urge and the rush. My wife told me to take it easy and make sure I didn't spread myself too thin between writing, promoting "The Big Red Devil" and my full-time job. I'm doing my best, but when I get sucked up in an idea like this, I'm consumed by it. It's better for me to finish than slow down. I'll get anxious, nervous, REALLY not be able to sleep.

On the other side, "The Big Red Devil" is doing decent and I got my first review not that long ago from someone I don't know. 5 stars! It made my life. From here until the dirt, I can know that I created a work that was worthy of that rating, at least to that person. That's incredible to me because writing has always felt so natural and good, fun and wonderful. When you feel that way about something, it's an incredible accomplishment to know people have enjoyed it. It's a joy beyond words. It's beyond money. It made all those nights, all lost hours of sleep, all that coffee and jitters, makes it all worth it. It gives all those things purpose. It was one review, but I'll always remember it. No matter how many books I write, how many reviews I get, I'll always remember that first one. It told me what kind of writer I am, and maybe in that, what sort of man I am. It's probably unwise to connect self-worth with creativity that closely, but, it's all I know.

I did cut off about a month of my mental downtime to start this new book. So, when I finished sometime in the next month, I'll be taking a good long mental vacation. Just some time to really appreciate what I've accomplished--two books in one year.

That all said, I've got a smoke with my name on it and some more coffee. The mug is empty. Just felt like I should drop by and say hello today.

Hope all is well!

Best,

John Huber