Abyss and Back

This morning, I secured a ninety-day trial with Ferguson Books. They’re going to carry “The Big Red Devil” for ninety days. If it sells out . . .

The official online launch of “The Big Red Devil” started today, too. I have nearly 100 downloads on the first day.

My nerves are so frazzled, frayed, worked numb. I know what I’m supposed to feel. I just don’t know if I can manage it. Living in a time when you’re constantly holding your breath is trying. It wears. You hold your breath because the thing you’ve always thought made you special is on trial. All those things, those words and ideas–John Harker–that have always been inside are now on the out. They’re outside and able to be judged by thousands. That’s a heavy burden, finding the weight of your existence through the work of your hands.

I know what I’m supposed to feel. Inside, I do feel that way. Outward, I’m content to smile. I’m content to smile, have a smoke, and enjoy the first baby step . . . hopefully the first of many. I may not look it, but take my word for it.

I am happy. I’m loaded with it, heaped with thousands of pounds of it. It’s incredible. It’s a small accomplishment, but it’s one I’ll cherish.

Thank you for sharing it with me–no matter who you are.

Best,

John Huber