Please fire me. I am stuck working at a summer camp every damn year because I’m not qualified for...

Please fire me. I am stuck working at a summer camp every damn year because I’m not qualified for anything else that will give me free housing and food. There are so many stories to tell. Mostly about terrible parents… Where to begin…

Often there are moms who spend weeks planning their kids’ trip to camp, like as if they get to pick their own schedule. Lady, no. You drop off the kids. We take care of the kids. You pick up the kids. That’s literally it. You don’t get to decide when they go on a hike and when they go to arts & crafts. We have 200 of these fuckers to look after. They do their stuff in groups and that’s that. I don’t have the time or the authority to let your snowflake wander out on her own.

Every summer there is at least one week-long session where a parent forgets to pick their kid up at the end of the week. How the fuck do you forget your own fucking child you piece of shit. They literally just forget and have no idea who we are or what we’re talking about when we call to tell them they’re two hours late for pick-up.

There are summer weekend programs where parents can camp with their children as a family. These are by far the worst because it attracts helicopter families. There are usually three or four moms who complain “I was never told that the cabin wouldn’t have electricity! The counselor cabin has a porch light so how come ours don’t have outlets!?” Madam, the camp description clearly states cabins are “rustic” and have no electricity. The counselors live here for nearly three months. They get electricity. You live here for two days. You get to shut the fuck up.

Two of the management staff were fucking in the parking lot for several weeks, even when kids were still on camp grounds. Didn’t get fired. Kitchen staff accidentally fed a counselor what they’re highly allergic to TWICE. Didn’t get fired. Counselors brought alcohol on to camp property and consumed it. Didn’t get fired. I’m beginning to think there’s nothing I could do to get myself fired.