Ask lunaKM – Quickies on Having a Mistress while Married, Unsure How to Impress Your Dom and Are You Sub?
Dear lunaKM
I am married man in a vanilla relationship – I live and work away from home in another country so I only see my wife at weekends. I have recently started seeing someone during the week who has a dominant side and we have started to explore Mistress/Sub relations – which is something I have wanted to do for a long term.
Is it possible to truly serve my Mistress and still be married?
Yes and no. If all parties involved are aware and consent to the situation then it could work and work well. The beginning of a lot of poly relationships work this way. However, if you plan on doing this in secret of your wife, then no it can’t work. You would be cheating on your wife and couldn’t fully submit to your Mistress because you’d always be in a lie.
I’m a new sub in training. I have a very natural submissive personality so most things I don’t struggle with but right now my Sir (so far it’s just a phone relationship with text, pics, and talking) wants me to impress him and a lot of the time I’m not sure what he means!! When I have researched new things that a sub should know he is impressed but I think he is wanting more physical things now and I really don’t know what to do. In this case I’m allowed to touch myself by I really don’t know how to impress him with what I can do when it’s only over the phone! Please help me understand ways to impress an experienced Dom!! He loves that it’s all new to me and that I’m willing to do anything if that helps :)
If he can’t voice what he’s expecting of you, how are you supposed to guess? You can’t submit in a vacuum. I don’t know either of you and can’t tell you what he means either. Open up the lines of communication and talk to him about the lack of clarity in his request.
Hi, I’m just starting to explore BDSM and I wanted to know, how can I tell if I’m a sub or not? Is there something I should be looking for?
Well, start with what you do know. When you have naughty or kinky thoughts or fun and you’ll know if you’ll at least like to give or receive play. Take for example, a spanking…. do you want to give the spanking or receive it? Maybe both? Then, once you know that, start learning about BDSM through books and the internet. You can talk to people too. Try this article about where to start.
Do you have a question or would like to get some advice? All questions are anonymous. Ask lunaKM!
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