How to Spot a Feminist

I swear it was an accident. I never meant for it to happen. But I woke up one morning and looked in the mirror, and there she was: A feminist.

When I was younger, I never read Jezebel or investigated sad statistics or told boys who said dumb things to google Gloria Steinem. I never used the F-word. I didn’t think I needed to. I was, like, pretty sure that feminism had happened already — to people like Betty Friedan and Susan Sontag and my mom. I was almost positive it was over.

But then I moved to college. And suddenly, I saw sexism everywhere. I spotted it in the dining hall and in professors who called women I admired “hysterical.” I found it in the Neanderthals who looked girls up and down before inviting them to parties, pawing their waists as soon as they got there. I discovered it in office hours and interviews and libraries and archives — on newspaper pages and in real life. I saw flickers of it in a boy I briefly dated. We did not last long.

Back then, allies were harder to find. Like Doc Thompson, I, too, needed advice on #HowToSpotAFeminist. But I was fortunate. I would discover them in libraries and on dance floors. They would teach me what my mother had tried to. They are my best friends. But Thompson is less eager to be pals. The host of conservative radio talk show The Morning Blaze took to Twitter this week to ask for some advice.

Any tips on #HowToSpotAFeminist??? We’ll discuss tomorrow http://t.co/MlSI2zGap3 #WhatILearnedToday

— Doc Thompson (@DocThompsonShow) May 3, 2015

According to some of those who replied to his tweet, a feminist “support[s] hypocrites just because they are women,” reeks of patchouli, braids her armpit hair, and is “hunched over due to that HUGE chip on her shoulder.” She is “ugly” and “everywhere.” She blends virile men into her açaí bowls each morning, probably.

And she knows how to work Twitter all by herself.

It was not long before real live feminists began to declare themselves, providing some hints to make it easier for bewildered misogynists to find them. A feminist has “the crazy idea that [she] should be paid the same amount of money as a man” and speaks out “against sexist nonsense.” A feminist is “a person who believes in political, economic & social equality of the sexes.” A feminist is “someone [who] noticed that the 19th century ended a while ago.”

They have the crazy idea that they should be paid the same amount of money as a man. #HowToSpotAFeminist #p2 pic.twitter.com/xon1QXetDQ

— Eric Wolfson (@EricWolfson) May 6, 2015

= Dear people using #HowToSpotAFeminist hashtag. = FEMINIST: a person who believes in political, economic & social equality of the sexes.

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) May 5, 2015

#HowToSpotAFeminist Someone who’s noticed that the 19th century ended a while ago.

— JRehling (@JRehling) May 5, 2015

#HowToSpotAFeminist – we’re speaking out against sexist nonsense and advocating for the equality of all genders! #BAM

— AmyPoehlerSmartGirls (@smrtgrls) May 6, 2015

A feminist looks a lot like me and probably a bit like you. A feminist looks like a good boyfriend and a great brother and my dad. Since Doc Thompson asked, let’s all tell him #HowToSpotAFeminist. Pretty please?