Reviewing as an Author: A.K.A. Why Life Sucks Sometimes
Lately, I've felt so exhausted, so frustrated, and there are days when I'm tempted to just give in and delete all my reviews. I'm tired of offending and upsetting people. I'm tired of people making assumptions. I'm tired of losing friends and burning bridges. I'm just so tired.
This appears in the comments section of one of my reviews, but I want to underscore my points here, too.
Authors write books presumably because they feel passionate about reading, and yet so few of them are allowed to show it.
I want to see more authors reviewing. I want to see them being HONEST. I don't like all this subterfuge, all this cloak-and-dagger "on Wednesdays we wear pink" schmoozing.
I review, because I want other authors to feel comfortable doing the same. I want there to be at least one person they can point to and say, "Well, at least I'm not alone!" Because right now, there's only a very small few I can point to and say that about, and that number is growing smaller and smaller every day because people aren't standing up for their passions. They're giving in, and selling out, and it breaks my heart because I want us all to be able to have our books and read them, too, instead of having our spirits slowly crushed one snub at a time.
The only reason I haven't stopped reviewing is because I feel that I have been moderately successful in my attempts to show that authors can write books and review them, too, and that the support I have has inspired others to do the same.
I fear what will happen if I stop. I fear what I will think of myself if I stop.
So I keep on reviewing, as honestly as I can, while writing my books, as honestly as I can, even when it feels like I'm fighting an uphill battle with no end in sight.
I hope you will join me.
This appears in the comments section of one of my reviews, but I want to underscore my points here, too.
Authors write books presumably because they feel passionate about reading, and yet so few of them are allowed to show it.
I want to see more authors reviewing. I want to see them being HONEST. I don't like all this subterfuge, all this cloak-and-dagger "on Wednesdays we wear pink" schmoozing.
I review, because I want other authors to feel comfortable doing the same. I want there to be at least one person they can point to and say, "Well, at least I'm not alone!" Because right now, there's only a very small few I can point to and say that about, and that number is growing smaller and smaller every day because people aren't standing up for their passions. They're giving in, and selling out, and it breaks my heart because I want us all to be able to have our books and read them, too, instead of having our spirits slowly crushed one snub at a time.
The only reason I haven't stopped reviewing is because I feel that I have been moderately successful in my attempts to show that authors can write books and review them, too, and that the support I have has inspired others to do the same.
I fear what will happen if I stop. I fear what I will think of myself if I stop.
So I keep on reviewing, as honestly as I can, while writing my books, as honestly as I can, even when it feels like I'm fighting an uphill battle with no end in sight.
I hope you will join me.
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Heather *Thermonuclear Bomb of Death* wrote: "Well, I am pretty small-time, but you're not alone! ♥Plus I don't really wear pink, so there's that. ;)"
You were one of the people I was thinking of, when I said that there were only a few I could point to. I love your reviews, and would be absolutely devastated if you stopped.
Please don't stop, Nenia.
Thanks! I can probably point to even fewer than you. It does bum me out to see authors only rating books highly and/or refusing to rate them low. They can do what they want, of course, but it doesn't exactly smack of honesty.
Susanna - Censored by GoodReads wrote: "Please don't stop, Nenia."Oh, Susanna. Thank you. I won't, if I can help it.
Heather *Thermonuclear Bomb of Death* wrote: "Thanks! I can probably point to even fewer than you. It does bum me out to see authors only rating books highly and/or refusing to rate them low. They can do what they want, of course, but it doesn..."It feels like a vicious cycle to me. The more it is perpetuated, the fewer the people who will feel comfortable reviewing negatively, honestly.
Everyone should be able to express their like or dislike of the written word, regardless of who they are, what they do etc. It makes me incredibly sad that anyone, author or not, would not feel comfortable sharing their thoughts on something, due to outside forces. Keep doing what you are doing!
Jess (Deliah_Wilson) wrote: "Everyone should be able to express their like or dislike of the written word, regardless of who they are, what they do etc. It makes me incredibly sad that anyone, author or not, would not feel com..."Thank you, Jess. I find the same thing upsetting. My friends here have been so supportive for the most part, and I wish other authors would stand up for their rights to review as they have the potential to add so much to the community with their discussions.
I know I don't really have a right to call myself an author, unless my few short stories do count, but yeah... Yeah, I hope I won't stop reviewing either. And I hope I'll never lose an author friend if I review his/her book and have to say that I didn't like it.
Yzabel wrote: "I know I don't really have a right to call myself an author, unless my few short stories do count, but yeah... Yeah, I hope I won't stop reviewing either. And I hope I'll never lose an author frien..."I think you can safely consider yourself an author. And yes, I hope you won't reviewing either. You certainly won't lose me as a friend, no matter what you say about my books. ♥
And covnersely. If one day I turn into a bitching bitter woman throwing hissy fits because someone didn't like one of my stories, all hope is lost. ;) (Hell, I don't even like my own stories that much. Well, no, I like them, and I like writing them, but I'll always find fault with them somewhere no matter what. I guess that's part of being alive and not in the exact same frame of mind every day.)
People on internet can be bitches.........but do try not to be bothered too much by them, I know it's difficult to do and it might not be what you want to hear at the moment. Please don't deny your reviews, you are right, more authors should be reviewing (and I'm not talking about those who gave their own books 5 stars rating) but again....people on internet can be bitches.
No, I understand what you mean. And you raise a very good point. Not letting people get to you is important. But at the same time, this is an issue that nobody talks about--and yet, it seems so counter-intuitive; why don't more authors review? And why do some people get so upset when they do?
Nenia *Genghis Khan soaked in sherbet* wrote: "No, I understand what you mean. And you raise a very good point. Not letting people get to you is important. But at the same time, this is an issue that nobody talks about--and yet, it seems so cou..."I think it's nice for the authors to review other books which are by other authors (I feel awkward when I see authors reviewing their own books), but guess what? When they review books by other authors, people may easily think they are badmouthing those other authors and their books if said author fails to come up with anything less than fangirl-praising.
Don't ever stop doing what you love, Nenia - and from reading your reviews, I know you love reading and sharing your reflections. People tend to forget that's part of the joy of reading in the social media age. No one can take that voice away from you, nor can they take your honesty. There's power in that, use it.And yeah, I realize it's an uphill battle with people who don't understand what you do, but you're definitely not alone. And I think you are a good example to people who can read widely and prolifically, review, and write. Triple threat for talent. :)
Mizuki wrote: "Nenia *Genghis Khan soaked in sherbet* wrote: "No, I understand what you mean. And you raise a very good point. Not letting people get to you is important. But at the same time, this is an issue th..."That's exactly it. Anything less than absolute praise is unacceptable; and criticism means you think that your own work is perfect and everyone else can go to hell.
Rose wrote: "Don't ever stop doing what you love, Nenia - and from reading your reviews, I know you love reading and sharing your reflections. People tend to forget that's part of the joy of reading in the soc..."Thank you so much for your kind words, Rose. You are always so eloquent and succinct.
Nenia, I wish I could like this way more than once and here's why...all authors start as readers.We're basically book nerds who somewhere in there put a book down and said "I can do this!" Hell, in your own profile you mentioned re-writing the endings of books you were unsatisfied with...glad to know I'm not the only person who did that. But yeah, that's how it starts; we read, we digest, we decide we can jump in the pool.
And is any trade different? Some kids see a plane shooting through the sky, decide that it looks like fun and eventually grow up to be pilots. Others wander through a beautiful building, get inspired and become architects or builders.
All creators have to start somewhere, and that "somewhere" is as a fan of somebody's work.
And you know what? The best creators never stop being fans. My father is a builder, pretty well-known for his craftsmanship (in a narrow field) and he's never stopped touring famous buildings, reading up on the greats...its how he learns, and one author to another it is how I learn. I'm pretty sure its how you do too.
C.S. Lewis once remarked that a tree grows by adding rings, but a train does not grow longer by moving from one station to the next. Sure, authors are sorta-kinda different from fans who don't write...but so what? Where is it ordained that we have to give up our "fan" status when we publish? Why are we denied an opinion just because we put our hand in?
We are readers first, authors second...and we remain readers. Our opinion still counts. I don't think it counts more or less. I think it counts, period.
And as to bitchy people making things complicated...well, the indie scene has some serious mafiosi tendencies I am very much not fond of, having run afoul of them myself for "daring" to voice honest opinions about books I didn't like. Oh sure, I believe we indie authors ought to support each other...but "you scratch my back, I scratch yours" is how corruption starts. Fuck, that's what corruption IS, especially when back-scratching comes at the expense of the paying customer.
You are one of the few indie authors I've met who actually understands how the game is supposed to be played, what our role is and what it should be. You write, you read, you review - and you take criticism on the chin with a smile like a proper author should. Example: my review of Cloak And Dagger was not entirely complimentary and neither was all of my commentary...but you liked the review all the same and kept a good humor about my jibes. I loved the hell out of that BTW. :)
Anyway, as I see it we authors have just as much right to be fans as anyone else...hell, any author who forgets their humble origins (*cough*ANNE RICE*cough) is asking for trouble.
We have a right to our roots. So, keep writing, keep reading, keep reviewing. I will too and I won't lose a second's sleep over it. If somebody has a problem with that, it's their problem. :D
I love your reviews, and I've found so many great books through your recommendations. If you want to review - REVIEW! Full steam ahead and damn the torpedoes!I know you've suffered for it. I've seen firsthand how butthurt fans have one-starring all of your books simply because you voiced an opinion contrary to their own. It's unfair and it's petty, but you're bigger than to let some fool stop you from doing what you love. I respect you more than you know :)
I'm not gonna review though, NEVER EVER. It's not because I don't read, or I'm afraid to say what I think about something. Believe me - I'm a mouthy as hell.
Goodreads (and Booklikes) are my playground. I come here to see what people are talking about and goof around while I'm waiting for the muse to make her appearance. I have so little time to write that if I get sidetracked it will stop me. I know it. So I'm trying to keep it light and focus my energy on the sweet spot while I'm still alive.
I need to start painting again :)
Don't give up, don't stop! I'm not an author (believe me, you don't want to see me try to write, it's god-awful), but I still think I understand. I've seen some of the attacks and wrongdoings. I haven't been here long enough to know what went on years ago, but I've still seen "some stuff" happen in the year and a half I've been here. It bothers me when I see authors attacked for "daring" to write a review that is less than 3 stars (shoot, I've even seen some attacks for 3 star reviews). You've got lots of support here and that's not going to change. <3
Eric wrote: "Nenia, I wish I could like this way more than once and here's why...all authors start as readers.We're basically book nerds who somewhere in there put a book down and said "I can do this!" Hell,..."
Well, if you can't laugh at yourself...
Thanks, Eric. I like that you review too, and that you also take criticism with a grain of salt instead of flying off the handle.
Derrolyn wrote: "I love your reviews, and I've found so many great books through your recommendations. If you want to review - REVIEW! Full steam ahead and damn the torpedoes!I know you've suffered for it. I've s..."
Oh, I understand. I think we've had this conversation before. Not gonna lie: I wish there were some Derrolyn bookshelves to creep on this site, because I'd love to see what your inspirations were as a whole, but some people come here just to observe and interact and I respect that. :)
Carmen wrote: "You're amazing, Nenia."Thank you, Carmen! I think you're pretty damn amazing too.
Sh3lly (All those who wander are crustaceans) wrote: "Don't give up, don't stop! I'm not an author (believe me, you don't want to see me try to write, it's god-awful), but I still think I understand. I've seen some of the attacks and wrongdoings. I ha..."Reviewers in general have a pretty crappy time of it. Especially these last few months. Goodness--the drama! I get so frustrated seeing the terrible things that happen to my (exclusively) reviewer friends.
But at the same time, it can be frustrating for me, too, because there are definitely times that I feel left out or excluded from the benefits of the reviewing community.
Ayana wrote: "Keep doin' what you're doing, Nen! I really admire your honesty, and the fact that you are honest (without giving a rat's that it's bound to draw some petty lunatics) gives your reviews far more cr..."Exactly--if you receive a high rating from someone who doesn't inflate their ratings, it's kind of like you've won over someone who is difficult to win over and it gives you an extra fuzzy feeling inside.
Keep up the reviews Nenia!I love the fact that your reviews are honest (they aren't sugarcoated but they aren't malicious either.) You are one of the few authors that act professionally-you don't flip out if someone gives one of your stories a one star review. You take it on the chin and move on.
I have been hesitant to post reviews for fear of backlash but now I'm realizing that I have a right to express my opinion.
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Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
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I missed this entirely, m'dear. I guess I can understand both sides of this argument, though. I adore your honesty and the fact that you will fight the uphill battle for your fellow author/reviewers. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE.
However, I also know what it feels like to get bullied (maybe not here, I'm relatively lucky here) and I know afterwards it's draining and exhausting work just to put one step in front of the other, sometimes. I guess what I'm saying is.... confrontation is easier for some people to handle than others. Especially if that confrontation and negativity is an attack towards your person.... or a judgement of your pains.
I guess what I'm saying is I love you and keep up the good fight (I would miss the hell out of you if you turned in) but try to remember that your truths (emotionally) are not always other peoples, is all. ♥
Anne wrote: "Keep up the reviews Nenia!I love the fact that your reviews are honest (they aren't sugarcoated but they aren't malicious either.) You are one of the few authors that act professionally-you don't..."
You absolutely have the right to express your opinion.
And thank you--I'm so glad you think I'm professional.
Karly *The Vampire Ninja & Luminescent Monster* wrote: "I missed this entirely, m'dear. I guess I can understand both sides of this argument, though. I adore your honesty and the fact that you will fight the uphill battle for your fellow author/review..."
LOL yeah I'll be the first to admit that I can be sensitive. And I'm not going to lie--sometimes this profession can take its toll on me, psychologically, and there are times when I've had to step back.
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Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
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And that's completely fair. I couldn't do what you do (lack of writing skills aside) for much the same reason I couldn't be a psychologist; I have a very hard time taking a step back if I'm emotionally invested in someone or something.
Oh yes, it can be very difficult. If people cannot deal with the toll, they should not be writers; I think that's probably what happens between a lot of BBA activity.
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Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
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I value others opinions too much to ever be BBA (even if I wrote lol)... In fact we I to be dropped in Roth's factions (and I know you hate that word) I have little doubt I would be abnegation. I more meant that I would have a difficult time maintaining myself were I to give that big of a part of me away, I guess.
Nenia *Genghis Khan soaked in sherbet* wrote: "Oh yes, it can be very difficult. If people cannot deal with the toll, they should not be writers; I think that's probably what happens between a lot of BBA activity."This is why I tell budding writers the following; "give serious thought about whether or not you want to publish. Publishing means going pro. When you're doing it for fun, it is about fun...but once you put it out there for people to pay for, it becomes a business - or in other words work. Do you really want writing to be your job? Keeping it a hobby is no bad thing."
Really, more writers need to ask themselves that question...especially now that thanks to the internet there are so many ways in which a writer can get group validation without having to endure the pummeling of the business world that is publishing.
Writers don't need to "go pro" to be heard. I do believe the internet has changed the game about personal expression, and the writer scene needs to play a little catch-up ball and re-examine some of its core beliefs. Maybe that's just me.
We quiet readers may not tell you and other hard working, forthright reviewers often enough how much we appreciate your work, so here is my thanks.Thank you so very, very much for your extremely well written, thorough, honest, and often hilarious reviews. You've directed me to books that have brought me hours of enjoyment and steered me clear of many a real stinker. You aren't trying to sell me something and you aren't doing favors for your friends. Because of this, I can trust you to give me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Keep up the good work, and know that we silent ones are here, reading your reviews, and admiring your giant cojones.
Karly *The Vampire Ninja & Luminescent Monster* wrote: "I value others opinions too much to ever be BBA (even if I wrote lol)... In fact we I to be dropped in Roth's factions (and I know you hate that word) I have little doubt I would be abnegation. I m..."HAHA is my disdain for Divergent so infamous? :P
I get it. I think people put a lot of themselves into their books. It can be hard to deal with criticism unless you're able to dissociate from your work.
Eric wrote: "Nenia *Genghis Khan soaked in sherbet* wrote: "Oh yes, it can be very difficult. If people cannot deal with the toll, they should not be writers; I think that's probably what happens between a lot ..."Oh yeah, writing for money unveils a whole other set of expectations. Quality of the work and the way you conduct yourself--it's all totally different. In some ways, I was prepared. In others...not.
Rory wrote: "We quiet readers may not tell you and other hard working, forthright reviewers often enough how much we appreciate your work, so here is my thanks.Thank you so very, very much for your extremely..."
Oh, Rory! Thank you so much for your extremely kind words. You made my day. :')
I completely agree. The whole 'I write so I can't review' even worse, 'I write so I can't say anything negative about another writer' drives me batty. I mean, it's just a bunch of people overthinking things. I tend to encounter two arguments for this, the first, 'I'm afraid of retaliation' is I suppose possible. I've been reviewing honestly for a couple of years and I have one review I think might be retaliatory, but it averages in with everything else, so, so what?
The second, 'I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings' or 'I know how hard books are to write' complete dismisses the fact the books are written to be read and (hopefully) talked about. But most of all it always just strikes me as artificially inflated empathy. In short, it's touchy-feely BS.
Don't stop reviewing. Not just because readers need honest reviewers out there if they ever want to find an honest review, but also because we need to counteract the impression that no author's review can be trusted.
Sadie wrote: "I completely agree. The whole 'I write so I can't review' even worse, 'I write so I can't say anything negative about another writer' drives me batty. I mean, it's just a bunch of people overthinki..."Hi, Sadie! Thank you so much for dropping by.
Those two arguments are pretty much the sum of it. And people adhere to them firmly. Lord help you if you challenge convention. It's really puzzling, because I don't ever remember this mode of behavior officially becoming the status quo.
I'm so happy that you review as an author as well, and I definitely agree that it is important for readers to be able to trust authors' reviews without wondering what might be in it for them. :)
Aw, I will add to the chorus and say that I adore your reviews and I hope you don't stop! I always appreciate the honesty, thought, and humor that you clearly put into each review that you write. That's what makes them so useful and entertaining. :) It's really sad to think that the creators of books are forced to feel uncomfortable about sharing their analysis/opinions of other books. But I hope you continue, because you are really great at it.
Plus I don't really wear pink, so there's that. ;)