Will You Go Tulle Prom With Me?

It is a damn shame that I’m about to turn 27, because I would ball so hard if I was still in high school and my prom was this weekend. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy my proms. I went to three: junior, senior, and someone else’s. Junior prom was on a boat, and though my date the worst, you likely know by now where I stand on the topic of floating vessels: at the head of the mast, ya’ll — call me editor-in-chief of the S.S. Hell Yes. 

My senior prom was fine but I have little memory of dancing or promenading in general. I spent the vast majority of my time taking group pictures for MySpace, complaining about my feet and focusing on the afterparty.

(You’ll be happy to learn that the above sentence is the first and only time I’ve earnestly used “afterparty” since high school. We live and grow, you know?)

The prom at which I guest-starred was probably the most fun. I attribute this to my leopard print strapless dress, gold aviators, really solid spray tan and a devil-may-care attitude about shaking my groove thing. No I will not make room for the Holy Spirit, Sister Francis. I do not even go here.

But if I went to prom now? For starters, my outfit would be way more fly. Maybe I’d DIY a tulle skirt and pair it with a leotard then claim that Sarah Jessica Parker stole my look. Maybe I’d do a tuxedo situation plus a red lip sans shirt. I’d definitely wear something dramatic to end the evening. Human disco ball? Sure, why not.

I’d limit myself to five minutes, max, of pictures. I’d hide my phone and really “be in the moment.” I’d dance, I’d sing, I’d request Taylor Twift, and prior to the big night, if a date hadn’t asked me via some insane, grand gesture, I’d ask myself. Two white horses and five dozen red roses, coming right up!

But enough about my gold days. I want to know about yours. In ~500 words, send your prom song to write@manrepeller.com. Tell me the good, the bad, the ugly dresses, the 80s tulle, the 90s tulle, the Avril Lavigne-phase tulle, the Parisian Tuileries. Tell me about how your date asked you, or tell me about how you asked your date. Or maybe you went stag — tell me about that. If you’re about to go, tell me what you’re excited for, or how you hope it will go, or about the horrible experience of searching for a dress.

Whatever your prom story is, I want to hear it, so that we can all live vicariously through you.

Check out past Writers Club entires here.