Get Your Shit Together and Exercise

You listened to the eating tips and took up meditation. Your mind feels more like an alphabetized book shelf than it does the remnants of a library-post-explosion. You don’t even crave cupcakes anymore, but before you charge forward like a bull with abs rock-hard enough on which to cut wood, you’ve got to decide a) how you feel about being compared to a bull and b) whether abs are actually your end goal.

Here’s the thing about working out: it takes mental readiness and if you don’t arrive at a state of good will on your own, you probably won’t get there. So I won’t attempt to wax poetic on the ways in which exercising will make your life better but I will say that it will never get easier if you rely on a soulless treadmill. Or, ugh, eliptical. So consider this edition of Get Your Shit Together the baby steps that turn you into a regular Jane Fonda, spandex notwithstanding. Here are five classes you should totally try and five gifs to prove that you can take the moves with you wherever you go.

AKT

The class in a sentence: Saturday night at da club in sneakers with no alcohol but lots of girlfriends.

Celebrity trainer founder Anna Kaiser says, “AKTread is the perfect blend of cardio/strength/stretch with dance moves you will groove to, sans all the running. The program is designed to work your muscle groups on all planes of motion, while keeping your heart rate up and simultaneously performing strength moves, sometimes on the treadmill.”

An exercise you can do while waiting for the subway:

The Class

The class in a sentence: A 75-minute meditation in a room full of attractive TriBeCa women that encourages yelling and closed eyes to compliment the MULTIPLE MINUTE sequences of burpees. Alternative sentence: if you’re going to try only one of my class recommendations, let it be this one.

Founder Taryn Toomey says, “A completely sweat soaked full-body workout that transforms your brain as much as it lifts your ass — you don’t just get physically stronger, you get mentally stronger.”

An exercise (butt lifts!) you can do while checking nutritional facts on a Kashi box:

Barre 3

The class in a sentence: Ballet minus the headache-inducing bun plus a lot of standing in constipation pose kicking your legs back and forth.

Founder Sadie Lincoln says, “A modern approach to the ballet barre workout that incorporates isometric and dynamic movement, Barre3 feels great in your body and gives you the long, lean lines everybody wants.”

An exercise (thigh lifts) you can do using your coworker’s shoulders as a bar:

305 Fitness

The class in a sentence: College girls getting ready to go out while listening to Katy Perry.

“Inspired by the Miami nightlife scene, you get the ultimate underground dance party by way of a killer workout – complete with live DJ and sick light show. Classes are 55-minutes of nonstop cardio complete with dance moves, sports drills and HIIT for a total body, mind-freeing experience. The music is constantly changing, just as you feel you are completely wiped—the DJ switches the track, and you get so excited, you can’t help but dance. No dance experience required. As long as you’re willing to move your body and just roll with it, you got this.” – Sadie Kurzban, Founder/CEO, ((305)) Fitness

An exercise (jumping high knees) you can do while crossing the street:

Soul Cycle

The class in a sentence: The glazed donut of cardio classes; the intense cycling will put you out of commission for the subsequent 12 hours.

An exercise (push ups) you can do wherever Citi Group sponsored bikes are stationed: