Shrimp Knuckles

(WARNING: this article may contain Nobel Prize spoilers)

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Everybody loves a scientist. They create stuff we depend on, they generally pose no threat of stealing your girlfriend, and those function-first corduroy pants they wear make funny noises when they walk.

Scientists are a unique breed, with peculiar habits:

They love to sort stuff. (I once dated somebody who sorted my books by height. I forget her name now…in fact, I forgot her name then — immediately, somewhere between C an...