Reality in Self-Publishing With a Side of Comedy

For a bit of reality and insane humour, about self-publishing a book. The first bit is the humour of it all, how sometimes writers can feel this way, the second is the reality. Steps are important to writing, but sometimes we can feel there is a big push to self-publish a book even when it isn't ready. Part 1 (also known as Step 1): Dance around the computer screaming: "Book is