How to Deal with Difficult Coworkers

Best Quote I’ve heard today:   “Anyone can throw you under the bus.  But you don’t have to lay there.” — Kelly Yontz, retail worker in Wadsworth, OH.

I love this quote because it includes the truth that we prefer to deny – that we are vulnerable to malicious co-workers.  You can and should take measures to protect yourself, but you can’t make yourself impervious.  A determined nemesis will succeed in getting some hits in.  She may make you look bad to clients or your boss, or sabotage your work, and you won’t always be able to prevent it.

Difficult coworkers can fill your mornings with dread, no matter how much you enjoy the work you do.  What can you do to improve your situation?

Make sure you’re not part of the problem. Assess your behavior for any unprofessional words or actions.   Ask a trusted co-worker for honest feedback.  If you detect any bad behavior, correct it and apologize for any misdeeds.


Try addressing the difficult person directly. Some people are not capable of taking ownership of their actions, but some are.  Some people may be reacting to circumstances that you’re not aware of, and a heart-to-heart can help you both out.


Talk to a supervisor. This can be tricky.  If you have an ongoing problem, then you can become known as a whiner or trouble-maker yourself.  One way to avoid this – ask your boss to give you strategies to deal with the problem, rather than asking for her to solve it.  Invite her to use the challenge to train you.  The benefits of this approach are three-fold:  You may learn some valuable strategies, you’ve created the opportunity for a continuing conversation with your boss as you seek her wisdom and feedback, and you’ve made her aware of the problem without appearing to be a back-stabber or tattletale.


Avoid the person. This isn’t taking the easy way out; it’s taking the smart way out.   You are there to do a job.  If the person is preventing you from doing the job, try switching desks or work partners so you can maintain your focus.


Protect yourself. If a coworker is aggressively trying to cause you trouble, this is no time to get caught writing your profile on Plenty of Fish.  Keep your head down and in the game.   Don’t let the added stress rattle you into making a foolish mistake.  Make all your dealings transparent:  they see you show up on time, they see you work until lunch, they see you come back on time.  And, says licensed massage therapist, Sally Keith Knepp, “Document, document, document!”


Put on your parachute and bail. Your job is a means to an end – to do the work your love, make a living, or both.  There are other jobs that provide those opportunities without that toxic person that is ruining it all.  Get the heck out of there before she succeeds in getting you blamed for something, or maybe even gets you fired.  Knepp agrees:  “You aren’t chained to the job.  There are always options.”

Most of all, keep your perspective and your sense of humor.  “I smile a lot,” says Yontz.  “And most of my coworkers are bat crap crazy.”