Our Presence, Our Body Image

We are always complaining about our bodies! 

I am too tall, too fat, too thin, or too short. Our hair is too thin, too straight, too kinky, or too curly. Rarely do we hear someone say, “My body is fabulous!” “My body is beautiful.” “My body works.” “My body takes me through life.” Body image is the way you see yourself and imagine how you look. Having a positive body image means that, most of the time, you see yourself accurately, you feel comfortable in your body, and you feel good about the way you look. I have been especially interested in this topic over the last six months. Why? I am aware of it myself, and I have two daughters who I’ve observed through their development—and their suffering. 

Women develop much of their self-esteem through girlhood. 

We develop our image and identity. These experiences stay with us through adulthood. Face it; girlhood was mostly a rough time for everyone. We often think we are the only ones that feel that way. However, during a women's meeting on this topic yesterday, high school-aged young women staged a beautiful performance for us that expressed this painful period of our lives. They started it with a survey of 11-year-old girls as to whether they would rather be fat or lose an arm. They answered they would rather lose an arm. A sad but often true condition of a young girl’s psychology. 

How does this play out as adults? 

The image we hold of our body makes a difference to our treatment of it. The image we see in the mirror may be a real or distorted view of who we are. Based on this view, we create either a positive or a negative self-image. Self-image is important because how we think about ourselves affects how we feel about ourselves and how we interact with the world around us. A positive self-image can enhance our physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Conversely, a negative self-image can decrease our satisfaction and ability to function in these areas.

Women have a wonderful superpower—our emotional and intuitive connection with others and ourselves.

How can we rewire our self-image, so it serves our health and well-being, our best thinking, and the quality of our energy, so we feel joy when we look in the mirror? During our passage through adolescence, we processed our individual and social experiences through self-reflection and expression and came through with an authentic presence as adults.

As adults, we continually take in information and evaluate ourselves in multiple situations. We ask ourselves: “How do I look?” We evaluate our performance: “How am I doing?” We assess ourselves in relationships: “How important am I?” With a positive self-image, we recognize and own our assets and potentials while being realistic about our liabilities and limitations. With a negative self-image, we focus on our faults and weaknesses, distorting failure and imperfections.

During the wonderful performance of these young women, the audience—myself included—was crying. We saw our unresolved pain and unanswered questions reflected in the messages, movements, and songs from our pasts. During our discussion afterward, we shared our varied reactions to what we experienced. We left feeling more powerful and connected.

How can we improve our leadership presence? How can each of us call attention to body image for ourselves in a positive way? My blogs for the remainder of March will address: 

Making conscious modifications to our beliefs and strategies: questions we ask ourselves, and our self-talk.
Making improvements to our body image through eating and exercise, our use of energy and sleep.
Dressing in accordance with our objectives, and using the “Eccentricity Ratio” as our guide.
Using our voice to carry our message powerfully—to achieve the greatest impact.

-Andrea Zintz, Career Coach, President, Strategic Leadership Resources