Spring Break! But Not — What to Wear This Weekend

Hunter S. Thompson used to read chapters of F. Scott Fitzgerald before setting out to write as warm up to position his tone. Sometimes I look at street style photos because they position mine. And at the end of a month that has been full of clothes on striking women (I’m not talking about the runway offering here) that sometimes don’t even see the light of a street style lens, I am feeling like I stand at a particularly high point of authority in my wanting to suggest that I can help you get dressed this weekend.

Denim

Khaki

White

Gold?

Let me show you what I mean:

I know this is one of me, which makes it a sort of cop out and one that is no less narcissistic but suspend frustration for a second and argue this suggestion: why don’t you wear this tonight with a colorful handbag and scarf wrapped around your wrist as if to say, I’ve come here to party but if you get me dirty I will F you the F up.

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By the time Saturday rolls around you’ll be like, well, that was cool but the forecast said rain so I really ought to consider wearing suede. How about monochroming utility green pants and a blouse and seeing what happens?

If it looks like this, you’ll know you’ve done something right. If it doesn’t you still win because this is your game and you make the rules.

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Sunday will come in like a lamb and you’ll be like, ugh, I can almost taste Monday before you realize that is actually tequila scratching the back of your throat. Wear your most reliable jeans because they are, by definition, reliable (and you are hungover). Remember how great you felt in all that utility gear and wear a bomber jacket in the same color as a token of commemoration. Because Monday is de facto close enough to taste, you’ll want to wear shoes that make you forget your woes. Then maybe contour a dimple onto your face so you can look more like Claire — if she looks familiar, it’s because we stalk her.

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And if that doesn’t work, you know what will?

Sweat

Pants.