It’s Kind of a Funny Story: Danielle Sherman & Todd Selby

Leandra Medine: How did you guys meet?

Danielle Sherman: I was in L.A. working for The Row at the time. I was deathly ill, but Jeremy Scott, who I was really good friends with, dragged me out of the house on a Saturday night. We went to go see a movie and then went down to MOCA which, on the weekends — I don’t know if they’re still doing this — was open until 3 a.m. and had music.  The museum was open and you could walk around on your own with people that were there at the venue. And this was all at night, so it was really cool.

Anyways, Jeremy dragged me there and Todd was there with Cobra Snake–

Todd Selby: I was actually staying at Jeremy Scott’s house as a guest. I met up with Cobra to hang out. I’d heard about Danielle from Jeremy but never met her. So we went out to the 101 Diner afterwards–

Danielle: We extended the night.

Todd: Yeah, I made everyone sit in a way where Danielle would have to sit next to me in the booth.

Danielle: The way he orchestrated it was very obvious.

LM: At least you knew he was interested!

Danielle: And then we had waffles and god knows what else.

Todd: We went on a date a couple of months later–

Danielle: Well then he texted me the next morning at 10 a.m.

Todd: You’re giving them the whole story, huh?

Danielle: Yeah! Why not! He texted me at 10 a.m. asking what I was doing. And I was like, “I actually can’t get out of bed, I’m really sick.” I was at my mom’s house because in times like those you need your mom’s chicken noodle soup. So he’s like, “I want to see you, can I bring Pinkberry?” I said no, but he continued with, “Well I want to see you and take you to dinner.” So he extended his flight and took me out to The Hungry Cat and that was our first date.

Then we went to the H.M.S Bounty after that, which was so cool; it’s a really awesome bar, very low key, very old school, really deep in West Hollywood.

Todd: It’s a nautical theme. The pool is shaped as a four leaf clover.

LM: So people get lucky in there?

Todd: I don’t know where the four leaf clover came from actually, it’s funny I never asked. I’m going to find out.

LM: It sounds like a wet gang bang.

Todd: It’s called The Gaylord! The name of the apartment it’s under is called The Gaylord.

LM: My favorite writing teacher’s name was Dr. Gaylord.

Danielle: Really?

LM: Yup. How long ago was this?

Danielle: This was nine years ago. It was really when both of us were pretty new — I mean you had been photographing for a while — but it was before The Selby. We were kind of at our beginnings then.

LM: And you were designing at The Row?

Danielle: Yeah. I co-founded The Row with Mary Kate and Ashley. I ended up moving to New York because we did more things here in the city, and Todd was living in New York, and I ended up moving in with him pretty early on.

LM: What was it that initially attracted you to Danielle?

Danielle: Oh gosh.

LM: Why were you assigning seats at a restaurant?

Todd: I’m the type of person who knows what I want very quickly, and then I jump all over it. My spirit animal is a frog. I jump on great things.

LM: What is it about Todd that attracted you to him?

Danielle: His positivity. He is one of the most positive people I’ve ever met. Just everything about him. I love how he’s creative; he’s very determined and focused. We have fun together, we laugh together and are totally quirky in very similar ways, although I express it differently than he does.

LM: Are you based here or are you bicoastal?

Danielle: He’s more bicoastal than I am.

Todd: We’re both kind of. She’s more New York.

Danielle: I am going to be working on that more, but definitely, my base is New York and Todd’s kind of global.

LM: So you’ve sort of watched The Selby grow into the enterprise that it is. What’s that experience been like?

Danielle: It’s incredible. It just started off in a very natural and original way. Photographing your friends, and having friends of friends enjoy it and want to share it with people; it’s been a very natural progression. It’s cool when you’re passionate about something and you can make it your life. It’s very cool. I definitely live with it all day, everyday. We have a Selby room in our apartment — that’s kind of like his office.

It’s very funny because when people come over it’s very evident which areas I have territory over and which areas Todd has territory over. This one room is a magic den of drawings and things hanging from the walls and out of projected corners everywhere; and there’s lots of computers, and cameras and lights. It’s a fun zone.

LM: Do you keep a lot of clothes there as well?

Danielle: I do have to say that Todd has the bigger closet.

Todd: I have a lot more clothes. I probably have three times the amount of clothes than she does.

Danielle: I definitely have a second closet at work, but most of my stuff is here. But still. I actually let him have it from the beginning.

LM: I get the sense that you’re quite a clean dresser. You know exactly what you like.

Danielle: Yeah, I’m quite minimal and according to Todd, quite plain and straight-forward.

Todd: It’s just funny because in her closet I think there’s one red thing. Everything else is black, white or green.

Danielle: Shades of gray, navy, inky blue…So he put one of his jackets in my closet and was like, “Look! Isn’t it more fun?” And I said, “Yeah, it is. Maybe one day.” Maybe one day I’ll be wearing cats but today is not the day.

LM: Todd, are you at all involved  in the growth of Danielle’s collections?

Danielle: Do you inspire me?

Todd: No. Well, we traveled in Africa together and I’m always finding books. I think I help her with finding inspiration or things like that, but never design-oriented things.

LM: Do you criticize?

Todd: No, I guess I have a unique perspective because I don’t really know anything about fashion or clothing construction, but I’ve always been around it a little bit, so I have sort of an outsider’s point of view? I can sometimes be of help, but a lot of times it’s beyond my understanding. When she’s designing and working on collars or textures, I don’t know what’s going on.

Danielle: But he does know me so well. So when I’m designing he can come in here and say, “That’s so you.” So it takes you back. It’s kind of that “check in” point. You always want to be doing you and expressing yourself, and of course there are always things that are more forward or fantastical, but the essence has to be an extension of yourself and things that you love. I’m very lucky that I have that person that can do that for me.

LM: How long have you been together?

Danielle: It’s been nine years. We’re getting married at the end of March.

LM: Do you feel like you’re married already?

Danielle: Yes.

LM: Where’s the wedding? What’s it gong to be like. Am I invited?

Danielle: It’s going to be at our house in L.A. It’ll be a lot of our close friends. Friends of ours who are chefs are making the food and people from all over the world are coming, but it’s really just people we’ve known for a while and who have been a part of our lives. And family. It’s going to be a weekend of festivities.

LM: Did you always want to get married?

Danielle: I guess. I never really thought about it. We’ve been engaged for a while but we’re finally pulling it together.

Todd: It’s a lot of work.

Danielle: Yeah. There’s a lot that’s been happening in both of our lives, but now seems like a good time. Todd’s all situated; he’s got his tux and his gear all sorted out. I’m just beginning.

LM: Are you making your own dress?

Danielle: Yeah. I’m psyched. It’ll begin tomorrow. Today there’s too many things popping up. We’ve already started initial sketches but we have an amazing atelier here and they’re going to be helping with it.

LM: I’m always so interested in couples who’ve been together for upwards of five years and decide to get married after that point and what the impetus of it is.

Danielle: As opposed to just continuing on? I don’t know what the impetus is for other people, but for us, I think it’s nice — from what I hear from friends — to begin another chapter. It’s that solid confirmation, whatever it means or stands for; that magical evening or day of being together and celebrating your union. We’re both pretty selfless in that a lot goes into our work, and this is a day to celebrate us. I think there’s something quite unique about that so I’m happy we’re doing it.

LM: Being married is delightful. It’s one of my favorite parts of human existence. Or my personal human existence at least.

Danielle: That’s really nice!

LM: I didn’t live with my husband before we got married.

Danielle: By choice?

LM: Well, kind of. We’re both Modern Orthodox Jews so it was kind of out of the question.

LM: All of these relationship stories are always so sweet, and no matter how mundane or extravagant they are, the reaction is always similarly, “Awww,” because on the other end is always a happy ending.

Danielle: It’s true. I think it’s a really intimate way to get to know people, to hear how they first met.

LM: What do you feel were some of the challenges you had to confront in being respective entrepreneurs?

Danielle: We’re just on different time zones most of the time. Maybe seeing each other, generally. Although even if Todd is in Japan he’ll fly back for two days before he flies to L.A. or Dubai or wherever. He really makes the effort to always come back if he’s been away for too long. That’s what’s unique, you know? That’s probably the hardest thing I’d say.

Todd’s very good at scheduling months ahead. Of course it’s always in flux because things happen and meetings change and I’m trying to get better at that. That’s something that I’m working on. But definitely scheduling time for us together is the challenge. But he always finds a way to make it all work.

LM: So is the recurring argument between you guys typically time and distance related?

Todd: We don’t really argue…

Danielle: I know it sounds annoying and hard to believe but really, we’re both not argumentative people. Even people that I work with here, I don’t think have ever heard me yell. I think it’s the California relatively low key vibe in me. But also it’s both of our personalities. I guess we don’t waste time arguing.

LM: Maybe it’s because you spend so much time apart?

Danielle: Yeah, and we’ve both had so many different life experiences that when you have perspective and you’re constantly faced with it, traveling all over the world, other things seem more important. You’re less likely to complain about things that are irrelevant or unimportant. At least for me, time’s not wasted on being upset at one another.

LM: What are your favorite things about each other?

Todd: Well Danielle is incredibly even-keeled, which I really like. She’s very creative and giving and I like that we’re both creative people, but I’d say we’re polar opposites in our philosophies. I’m very much, “done is better than perfect” — kind of the Facebook mentality. And Danielle is more on the Apple side; she’s a perfectionist. I’ve never used an eraser before, and Danielle’s mom was telling me that when she was a kid she’d just erase and erase until the paper would fall apart.

I just really like that we’re different in that way.

Danielle: I love Todd’s passion. He’s extremely focused and determined when it comes to anything, from buying a house to seeing me after being across the world. I love how he just makes things happen. There are never excuses. He’s not one to make an excuse. I love that. He’s so sweet with my family. We have so much fun together. He makes me laugh all of the time and cooks great food for me. We both love food.

I am constantly being inspired by him creatively. I too, love that we’re opposites in terms of what attracts our eye. I love that he brings me to places I’ve never seen, introduces me to books I’ve never read, music I don’t necessarily listen to. It’s that kind of attraction, the fact that we share different interests. I’m always discovering something new when I’m with him.

Todd: Thanks honey.

Danielle: We never really have these conversations! It’s sweet!

LM: Isn’t it fun to recalibrate every now and then?

Danielle: It’s kind of like therapy, but therapy that’s about appreciating the good things in life.

LM: This is a fun question: Could you try to define love in five words or less?

Danielle: Love is happiness. If you’re happy, that’s the only thing that matters.

LM: I’m finding more and more that happiness is the end goal of every narrative.

Danielle: Totally. My mom was saying that this morning — she came in for the show — she’s my biggest supporter, along with Todd, and my sister, and my dad and my two nieces. But, she said, “You know, people ask me if I’m proud of you. And of course I’m proud of you! But I’m most proud that you’re happy. That’s every mother’s ultimate goal, that their children are happy.”

Todd: Aw, that’s so nice. I like Danielle’s answer! You convinced me.

Danielle: What is love for you?

Todd: Well I can’t say happiness, can I? A warm, fresh cat t-shirt?

LM: That bomber is really cool.

Todd: This is a 1991 Hermès score from eBay.

LM: Are you a big eBay shopper?

Danielle: You should share with Leandra some of your most recent purchases.

Todd: Well now I really love buying clothes and plants on eBay. There are really cool ones.

Danielle: But what’s quite unique is that you found a really cool African cactus.

Todd: It’s in this funny brown bowl and once a year, it puts out a single stem with leaves on it and then it dies, and another one comes out.

Leandra: That’s really interesting! You have to have a really curated head for eBay.

Todd: It’s really fun and good for getting the really weird specific things. I love it.

LM: If you were giving advice to your future daughter…are you going to have kids?

Danielle: Yeah, kids are cool! Todd’s really good with kids. They are mesmerized by him. He’s wearing every color of the rainbow, and one thousand cats on his t-shirt.

Todd: Normally I wear glasses and they like those too.

Danielle: And they like your voice.

Todd: I have a muppet-like voice. So they like that. I’m messy. And usually, when they’re around we’re doing weird things because it’s a photoshoot or something.

LM: So if you were giving advice to your daughter about love, what would you tell her?

Todd: That’s tough. I think love takes perspective, so it’s something that takes time and knowledge of life. I think it’s something that can’t be rushed. Maybe it’s easy to confuse hormones with love as a teenager, but…

LM: Hormones are such a nice alternative word for passion.

Danielle: I would say to just follow your intuition. If it feels right, you gotta feel it. Follow your heart.

LM: Danielle, are you wearing a wedding band?

Danielle: This is my engagement ring! I flip it around a bit. Todd found it in Japan.

Todd: Yup, the designer has a store on Dover Street too.

Danielle: His name is Noguchi, he’s amazing. He has a small shop in Paris I have yet to go to. But he’s really hard to find, I’ve only seen him at Dover Street here and at the one in Tokyo.

LM: It’s beautiful. Todd, have you always been into fashion? You seem to have a good understanding of it.

Todd: I’ve been around it since I moved to New York. I’ve always been really interested in fashion people and the fashion world; there are so many interesting characters. My family goes way back to the shmata business as well, so I think there’s always been an interest in clothing. I had a funny clothing line with my friend called Imitation of Imitation of Christ.

But Danielle was born to do what she does. It’s funny and interesting — especially when all of those fashion TV shows popped up and everybody suddenly wanted to be a designer — it’s like, you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into. It’s a really tough business. When people tell me, “Oh, I’m going to start my own fashion line,” it’s almost like they’re saying, “Oh, I’m going to start my own car manufacturing business.” It’s about as easy as that. It’s really tough.

LM: When Tesla popped up a few years ago, that was interesting. But he did it! I don’t think they’re doing as well as they hoped though. They’d planned on selling 40,000 cars in China and they sold about what, 60?

Danielle: It’s pretty epic. Have you been in one? It’s like walking on water. It doesn’t feel real.

LM: It’s incredible. I like the idea of an oil-free world and it seems like a pretty good way to get there.

Todd: We have a Tesla. Danielle drives me around it.

Danielle: If it was up to me I’d be driving an old Jaguar, but you can’t get more technologically advanced than this guy. He’s always up on the latest gadget, and this is definitely one of them. But it is an amazing car. You’ll see them everywhere in L.A.

LM: I kind of want to move to L.A. These winters are getting colder.

Todd: But you can be wherever you want to be.

LM: But I have roots here; family and all.

Todd: You’d have to move your whole family out there.

LM: It’s like my dad who saw a Ford commercial on an open road while living in Turkey and said, “There! That’s where I’m going.” He literally packed a bag, enrolled in college in Gainesville, called his parents and said, “It’s cool here. Come over.” And they did.

Anyway, I’m going to ask one more question: One piece of advice you would give someone looking for love?

Todd: It’s a thing that’s really hard to look for. You just have to be open to it when you see it. Be ready to jump on that lily pad when it’s there. A lot of it is timing. You can meet the right person but not be mentally ready.

Danielle: I totally second that.

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