What’s the Best Deodorant?

I know this sounds insane, but I’m pretty sure I don’t have a “brand” of deodorant. I can’t tell if I’m more of a Fresh Shower Powder kind of girl or if the olfactory move is something a little more floral. No Teen Spirit. The ideal smell would be whatever old school Herbal Essences smelled like; if my armpits could remind others of good shampoo that would rule.

Though I don’t have much of a preference between solid or gel, I’m pretty sure I’m not into the idea of a spray. I am 100% positive that an organic solution is not the answer. Sorry Tom. You can claim curated medicine cabinets and MySpace all you want, but not my armpits. No way, sir. No how.

The thing is that at 8 a.m. today the final bit of the deodorant I’ve been using fell out of its pod and onto the floor and then crumbled into a million little soap-y, impossible-to-pick-up pieces. The brand was BAN and it originally came to me via some gifted Music Festival Survival Kit. The one before that was Dove and my dad bought it because he had a CVS coupon. Both were great…but  now what?

Why don’t you just go to the drugstore and buy one, you snozzrocket?, you’re probably wondering.

Because it’s not that simple. Because I actually just tried but ended up standing in the deodorant aisle for 15 minutes while wondering if it was creepy to sniff anti-perspirants, or if legally, that was even allowed. You sniff it, you buy it? I don’t know. The whole ordeal was the pitts.

But I’m 26 and if I’m going to at least pretend to be a grown woman, I think I should know what “My Brand” is. So can you guys do me a solid? What’s the best deodorant?