Why Ashley Wilkes is a Total Douchenozzle

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Why Ashley Wilkes is a Total Douchenozzle

I recently wrote a post about Scarlett O’Hara and why she’s the queen of kickass. Now, I want to focus on her opposite, Ashley Wilkes. He’s portrayed as a nice guy and all-around gentleman. In fact, he’s such a goody two-shoes that Scarlett can’t let him do anything improper in order to get her tax money for Tara.
Lies, I say! Lies! Ashley Wilkes is a douchenozzle. Here’s why…

1. Ashley is a manipulative little narcissistic creeper.

Here’s a pic from one of the scenes where Scarlett proclaims her love for Ashley. In return, he says: “Don’t say these words, one day you’ll hate me for hearing them.” What he should have said is the truth: “You’re hot and I would like to nail you, but I can’t. I really don’t see you as anything but a nice lay, so move on sweetie.”

Only, you know, in a nice and gentlemanly way.

Instead, he teases her by saying she has her “teeth on his heart” and stringing her along. We’ve all been there, haven’t we ladies? Some guy who likes getting his ego fluffed, but when push comes to shove, ‘he just isn’t that into you.’

Shame on you, Ashley Wilkes.

2. Scarlet hired convicts, but Ashley did the day-to-day management of them. That’s pretty shitty.

Ashley said that he couldn’t fight both Miss Mellie and Scarlett, so that’s why he had to take a job running a lumber mill with no actual skills. Boo hoo, Mister First World Problem Boy. Where it crosses the line for me is that, yeah, Scarlett came up with a bad idea to run the mill with mistreated convicts. But Ashley did the actual running. And he says all of one thing about it and then drops the subject like a hot potato.

If he told Miss Mellie about this, do you think she’d change her stance and tell him to get a job somewhere else? Hells, yeah! But he doesn’t. He goes right on collecting his paycheck. Scumbag.

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Not okay.

3. He wasn’t too sensitive about Scarlett’s crush.

Remember this scene? It’s like, ‘hey, I know you totally have a crush on me, but now I’m going to nail someone else above your head. Buh-bye!’ Not a fan of this move.

Get a hotel room, dick. You have the money.

4. Anyone notice how he killed Miss Mellie? That sucked.

Remember how impressed Scarlett was that Ashley wouldn’t have sex with Miss Mellie because she could, you know, die if she got pregnant again? Anyone notice how she got knocked up anyway and totally died? That was really a crap thing to do, especially since Ashley used the occasion of her death to finally come clean with Scarlett that she was just a nice piece of ass for him, like Belle was to Rhett.

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How did this happen? Oh, yeah. It was totally me.

On a final note, the actor who played Ashley was a really cool dude. Leslie Howard was a war hero who died while fighting with the RAF. If you’re a WWII buff like me, then you know that signing up to fly planes for England took some serious guts. So, the real guy is not his fake character.

But Ashley Wilkes? Still a total douchenozzle.

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Leslie Howard, a cool guy.