Two Tips to Get Them to Say YES

Your success and happiness depends on your ability to get others to say “yes” more than they say “no.” When you have an idea you would like others to adopt, when you want to raise money for an important cause, or when you ask for a promotion at work, you have to deal with the question, “How can I get others to say ‘yes’?”

Here two ways to get more people saying, “Yes!”

Give more than you take:

Relationships are built upon reciprocity—giving and receiving. If you’re hearing “no” more often than you’d like, it could be because you’re making more withdrawals than deposits in your relationships. The people who have mastered the art of getting more yes's are the ones consistently asking, “What can I do to help you?”

The late author and speaker Zig Ziglar said, “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” The fact is, we’re all more inclined to help someone who has a history of helping us. When you give more than you take, you will hear more yes’s than those who take more than they give.

Appeal to their self-interest:

If you ask your child to go to the grocery store with you, chances are they might not find that appealing. However, if you ask them to go with you to choose their favorite ice cream, that’s another story. When it comes to self-interest, children and adults are the same. When someone shows us how to get what we want, we’ll follow them almost anywhere.

If you want your boss to give you more responsibility, show her how it will free up her time for more important things. She might be motivated to help you further your career, but if she sees how helping you helps her as well, you’re almost guaranteed to get a “yes.” In essence, find out what your boss’s “ice cream” is and you’ll hear “yes” more often than not. Just remember, not everyone wants ice cream—but everyone wants something. Your job is to find out what that is and wrap it up in what you’re asking them to do.

- Alan Allard, Executive Coach