My Wellness Seems Certain - Yet Inexplicable
I pray and worship with my wife -- Leslie Jeanne Breton Franz -- at the Church of the Holy Child on Naamans Road in Wilmington, Delaware. Semi-circular seating and a high ceiling lend themselves to excellent music and a wonderful milieu for prayer. The church is of Roman Catholic rite and we have attended regularly for about twenty years.
In 2008 I began as a lector -- or 'reader' of the "Word" of the Bible to the congregation. This means that in the ceremony I read passages from the old and new testaments. You do not know how much I enjoy doing this -- You do not know how this reading improves my prayer life. To read -- or to lector -- I dress with a suit & tie and enjoy the formalities of the mass. Considering my past, these rites and conventions lead me to a healthy life. Specifically, when I read like this -- just once a month -- my preparation helps me feel a responsibility to others and a duty to society. I become a 'better person'. To work as a lector becomes an opportunity for a life filled with spiritual expression.
I tell you this now not to promulgate Christianity, but to state that this structure bolsters my disciplined present. For example, as I have written before, when I was young an amphetamine induced psychosis had influenced two psychiatrists to classify me along with the schizophrenic and bipolar. Drinking on top of this made matters worse and withdrawal from all chemicals -- including the ones that the psychiatrists prescribed for me -- made me mentally ill or in other words "mad". I had been treated as a dementia case -- lost in mental domiciles & treatment for years -- with little hope for improvement. Now inexplicably I am getting well and with dramatic improvement have become mentally sound.
It took some time, but I found a group of doctors who not only told me to stop using alcohol, but actually began helping me reduce the other chemicals -- especially the medicine I had been prescribed for so long. I have not used alcohol since January 1983 and today stability is coming further by stopping the use of other chemicals.
You should also know that since 2012 I have adopted new attitudes in how I look at life. First I tell myself in every situation that there is no need for alarm or hysteria in any instance. Second I look to always be calm to find a patient way to face problems or challenges. This means that I have the belief that all difficulties have answers as long as one takes the time to receive an answer. Third, I need to be patient and relaxed with myself and 'endure' discomfort when it obviously will come. I therefore must remember that in this world 'all things will pass'. Finally, I have learned to accept my own emotions -- such as anger or fear -- as it helps me to dramatically trust God like I never had before. Somewhere, "there's a place for us." All of these thoughts or attitudes help me to live and appreciate life more fully.
No doctor has admitted me to any hospital because of mental disease in over twenty years. I have not "acted out" in over twenty-five years. In that time I have taken responsible positions and worked hard.Bob Does Everything Backwards: Writing Out of an Illness
I want to be an asset and step-up to give to society. Responsibilities need to be shouldered -- challenges are to be met and life is to be faced head on. Honest, 'thinking' work does wonders for me.
In particular I know that I can (at the least) help those with dementia not only because I have been there, but because I have walked away from it. I can almost see ways in which those with dementia, those who are aging and confused, and those who are vulnerable can move to the point where they can inspire as well as contribute to their families. Even now, the nonagenarians in my family have a surprisingly good sense of humor.
To make that statement is a great claim -- perhaps you may think it is too great a claim, but having worked on an Alzheimer's Unit earlier in my adulthood I have seen human experiences which have purpose and meaning. Spiritually we remain connected.
We continue to pray and meditate and do not want to give up on these expressions. There is faith in me that answers will surface, especially in the years to come. May godspeed to help us all. With God's help aging can be dignified.
Sincerely,
Robert N. Franz
In 2008 I began as a lector -- or 'reader' of the "Word" of the Bible to the congregation. This means that in the ceremony I read passages from the old and new testaments. You do not know how much I enjoy doing this -- You do not know how this reading improves my prayer life. To read -- or to lector -- I dress with a suit & tie and enjoy the formalities of the mass. Considering my past, these rites and conventions lead me to a healthy life. Specifically, when I read like this -- just once a month -- my preparation helps me feel a responsibility to others and a duty to society. I become a 'better person'. To work as a lector becomes an opportunity for a life filled with spiritual expression.
I tell you this now not to promulgate Christianity, but to state that this structure bolsters my disciplined present. For example, as I have written before, when I was young an amphetamine induced psychosis had influenced two psychiatrists to classify me along with the schizophrenic and bipolar. Drinking on top of this made matters worse and withdrawal from all chemicals -- including the ones that the psychiatrists prescribed for me -- made me mentally ill or in other words "mad". I had been treated as a dementia case -- lost in mental domiciles & treatment for years -- with little hope for improvement. Now inexplicably I am getting well and with dramatic improvement have become mentally sound.
It took some time, but I found a group of doctors who not only told me to stop using alcohol, but actually began helping me reduce the other chemicals -- especially the medicine I had been prescribed for so long. I have not used alcohol since January 1983 and today stability is coming further by stopping the use of other chemicals.
You should also know that since 2012 I have adopted new attitudes in how I look at life. First I tell myself in every situation that there is no need for alarm or hysteria in any instance. Second I look to always be calm to find a patient way to face problems or challenges. This means that I have the belief that all difficulties have answers as long as one takes the time to receive an answer. Third, I need to be patient and relaxed with myself and 'endure' discomfort when it obviously will come. I therefore must remember that in this world 'all things will pass'. Finally, I have learned to accept my own emotions -- such as anger or fear -- as it helps me to dramatically trust God like I never had before. Somewhere, "there's a place for us." All of these thoughts or attitudes help me to live and appreciate life more fully.
No doctor has admitted me to any hospital because of mental disease in over twenty years. I have not "acted out" in over twenty-five years. In that time I have taken responsible positions and worked hard.Bob Does Everything Backwards: Writing Out of an Illness
I want to be an asset and step-up to give to society. Responsibilities need to be shouldered -- challenges are to be met and life is to be faced head on. Honest, 'thinking' work does wonders for me.In particular I know that I can (at the least) help those with dementia not only because I have been there, but because I have walked away from it. I can almost see ways in which those with dementia, those who are aging and confused, and those who are vulnerable can move to the point where they can inspire as well as contribute to their families. Even now, the nonagenarians in my family have a surprisingly good sense of humor.
To make that statement is a great claim -- perhaps you may think it is too great a claim, but having worked on an Alzheimer's Unit earlier in my adulthood I have seen human experiences which have purpose and meaning. Spiritually we remain connected.
We continue to pray and meditate and do not want to give up on these expressions. There is faith in me that answers will surface, especially in the years to come. May godspeed to help us all. With God's help aging can be dignified.
Sincerely,
Robert N. Franz
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