Embracing Spring in Warmth

AccuWeather has unofficially marked the end of this week as one of the coldest we will see this winter. Temperatures will drop below zero and climb no higher than a stealthy 18 degrees. This will invariably prove frustrating for Fashion Week show-goers with profoundly colorful arsenals of not-quite-coats but not exactly jackets either. Wide-leg pants zealots will have to wonder what’s more important: the relinquishment of air ventilation through the bottom of said pants or potentially harmful frost bite that at least yields a really great photo. And those who renounce boots all together are more or less fucked.

Or are they?

The most important lesson in layering is that your layers are not otiose. You see, I have a theory about strategic layering that runs counter to what outerwear brands want you to think, which suggests that so long as your keep your hands, feet and head warm, the rest of your body is effectively fair game. You can even wear Spring.

So starting at the feet, let me suggest at least two layers of socks. (And thick black tights.) One of the camp variety and another of your choosing. This will make wearing sandals, like, say, the navy blue suede lace-up ones — a totem for Miu Miu’s resort season — in exhibit C more pleasant.

If you want to wear a spring suit but don’t know how to reconcile it, layer to the point of oblivion. Remind yourself that Uniqlo invented a little thing called HEATTECH. And that a pretty fat slew of brands across the board produce shirting that laughs in the face of oxygenation. Ditto that for sweaters, as evidenced in exhibit B.

As for exhibit A: There is a 60% chance you will freeze in the aforementioned not-coat-not-jacket, but with tights and socks and a turtleneck that effectively shoots steam out of your arm pits, I am confident you’ll do fine.

Also, get a pair of gloves — and those heat packs for inside of them. Then buy yourself a beanie!

Never mind, I’ll buy you one.