A Little How To Between Me And You!

You see them here and there, you see them everywhere. There is a how to guide on this and that. Now some may be where it is at, giving wise advice and such. But then there are those that are out to lunch by much.

How to build a house.
Go ahead, mighty mouse.
Step by step by yourself.
In 50 years you'll put up the final shelf.

How to fix a car.
My, you will go far.
Turns out you weren't in the know,
As you caused the engine to blow.

How to get a date.
Damn, need help with a mate?
Getting a date is as easy as can be,
A good one, not so easy.

How to be a great cook.
Is this Gloria's nook?
If not, you are screwed.
Sorry, not really, to be rude.

How to win at the lottery.
Better off taking up pottery.
With odds like 1 in 516,000,000 taking place,
You are better off giving your dough to mime face.

How to make money.
Another that is funny.
You spent money on a guide to make money,
See the irony there, honey?

How to build a robot.
You might find a nice plot.
But Skynet you won't make,
If in a how to guide you have to partake.

How to get fit.
Are you dumb at your pit?
It is called exercise.
Damn, with one word the cat is wise.

How to train a cat.
Pffft like you can do that.
We do what we want to do.
Just flush your money down the loo.

How to speak to God.
My, the brains of a cod.
Maybe you do the hokey pokey and shake it all about.
Hmmm doing that naked could make any being shout.

The cat is through with his run on the how to. Any how to guides you find useful at your sea? Are you going to admit the dumb ones to me? The cat promises to not get too crass. Yeah, I wouldn't believe my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.