It's Such A Great Sign It Must Be Divine!

So the cat hasn't picked on Astrology yet after all these years, I guess I didn't want to bring them ummm simple humans to tears, but what the heck, time for astrology to hit the deck. Poor Manzi may forsake me after this rhyming spree.

Oh look at that,
It says you will lose fat,
And win some money.
And I'm the Easter Bunny.

Pffft indeed, to such nonsense.
Some humans are really really dense.
Let's see a mix and match,
And be so diluted in answers that we apply to the whole batch.

Oh but it isn't diluted at all.
It just can't be specific at any hall.
And why can't it be specific for you?
Because you are a non believer and don't moo.

Why do you need astrology though,
When you have fortune cookies to give a go?
Wait, wait , wait, for $9.99 a minute it can give you your fate.
Damn, I'd like to go into that racket, mate.

I'd be a rich cat.
I'll prove my skills, stat!
Just you wait and see.
This will apply to all of thee.

Today you will learn to fly.
You will go up upon high.
You will live and let live.
You will learn to forgive.

Then oopsy, you will die.
But no one will cry.
That is the end.
The bill I will send.

Did I mention you fly for 10 seconds or so?
You go from high to low.
Then ummm crash, boom, bang!
The pooper scooper people come and scoop you up, dang.

I should work on those details at my sea.
Oh but wait! Those aren't needed for astrology.
I just have to be ambiguous and say things you'll love.
So go ahead, and float like a dove.

You'll at least have a bit of fun,
Before you life is all but done.
You'll hit something more empty than your head.
Then you and the cement will both be dead.

Think the cat has a future in charging $9.99 a minute for a call? No? Damn, back to the drawing board at my hall. I guess I'll have to hunt down bigfoot or the Easter Bunny, snap a pic and sell it for money. Hey, at least I have a clear goal with no ambiguous crap coming to pass. Score one for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.