Robert N. Franz's Quest to Handle Money Efficiently
Throughout the years I have attempted to handle my money efficiently -- or rather carefully so I would make the most out of each venture. I have never enjoyed spending what I have earned or other peoples money as well. I've always tried to be fair and equitable.
I learned early in sixth grade how to play poker but after my first loss of $5.75 to Sidney Gottlieb I never enjoyed the game.I do not like to gamble for entertainment purposes. When I went to Europe (1970) on a budget for six weeks in high school I returned not spending all that was budgeted. People expected me to spend money on the European trip, but I had vowed to myself that I would not. Finally, I have felt extremely guilty towards my sister because of all the psychiatric attention I had received throughout the years. The cost in time and money was definitely too much.
Just to describe I was a sensitive, and active young man who got violently raped when I was just 21 years old. Because I did not know all the ramifications and was partially in denial I sought medical help. As a result the psychiatrists gave me major tranquilizers which I got "hooked" on and could not get off without going insane. Not until recent years was it discovered that I could reduce the medicine only very slowly and finally be rid of it. An easier and much less costly solution would to have been through counseling and the courts to expunge myself of the sickening acts that were perpetuated onto me as I was tied to that bed in early 1974.
Instead, I ran and ran and fled and fled -- until running out of steam. One time I incurred much debt on gas and credit cards. Eventually I learned -- eventually I paid it all back. Another time I entered a state hospital with close to $1,250.00 on me, but it was never returned to me upon my discharge. There had been reasons not to trust people and with that being said it was obvious that my young adulthood had been wasted. There were too many costs, big bumps and bruises, and way too many losses. These lessons I have learned -- only take a step when you are sure of your footing. Only give when you are sure of the reception. Care, but don't expect results. "Realize it is between God and you, because it was never about 'them' anyways."[Mother Teresa]
Sometimes there is more cost than just money. Sometimes trust has to be built. In 1988 Leslie and I married. We promised everything to each other but we also promised that we would have a prenuptial contract. As a result we did not mingle our money until 2005. Costs and trust made us "get it together".
Let it be known that we love the caring which my parents -- especially R. Nelson Franz, my Dad -- gave to us. He let us live in a condominium unit, in what no other terms could be described as free housing. I don't know what I can do with such love as what came from my Mother and Dad. I can only be the best I can be at any given time: from here to eternity. I know that Dad was sad, for the only son he had (and I had tried to be good) was 'hooked' into mental illness ostensibly from the pills of the psychiatrists. Something was wrong that none of us could extricate ourselves from. Out of sorrow and some sublimated anger Dad would help.
So there Leslie and I were -- ready in 2005 to take on our finances.
The first thing we had to do was find out where our debt was located. The credit cards had to be paid off every month if we were to keep them. Please know that for the last ten years we have paid off every monthly balance each month on every card. We have scraped to make this happen. Also we found old medical bills from 1999 which we paid off within the year of 2005. Reputation became important and there was pride in our hearts. Just by doing these simple things made us feel better about ourselves. Finally, we went down to one checking account and one car between us. All extra expenses were cut.
We also learned that a stay-at-home salmon steak dinner was more preferred than a meal of prawns at an upscale restaurant. We began pleasing each other more and felt more strength in our love.
Absolute trust in another -- particularly a professional such as a medical doctor -- brings more to fret about because everybody stays fallible. Creating a bond with another such as in matrimony lets one join in a living, breathing relationship. There may be mistakes but perfection is not expected. The cooperation between Leslie and I makes for plans to be made, expenses to be met, jaunts to be taken and mistakes to be forgiven. One does not do this in professional relationships. No doctor can pretend to be my friend -- either they are or they are not. A mate, however, is something special -- someone to work with, someone to sweat with, and someone to love.
As a result I want you to know that every month in every year since 2005 I have documented a spreadsheet of every dollar we have spent. If you think I have gone too far then let me tell you that because of these tallies, we have been able to take one or more trips every year, have purchased a new year-old car, kept up with new clothes, been out almost every evening and have eaten so much as to need to spend money on Weight Watchers. We have also, perhaps unfortunately, have had to keep up with medical and dental bills. Yet we do keep them up responsibly as well as cheerfully find a place for charity.
The daily discipline does us well. No matter how many hours our day is long there is always time to fit in "the next right thing". When you know where your money goes, you appreciate it even more.
Sincerely,
Robert N. Franz
Bob Does Everything Backwards: Writing Out of an Illness
I learned early in sixth grade how to play poker but after my first loss of $5.75 to Sidney Gottlieb I never enjoyed the game.I do not like to gamble for entertainment purposes. When I went to Europe (1970) on a budget for six weeks in high school I returned not spending all that was budgeted. People expected me to spend money on the European trip, but I had vowed to myself that I would not. Finally, I have felt extremely guilty towards my sister because of all the psychiatric attention I had received throughout the years. The cost in time and money was definitely too much.
Just to describe I was a sensitive, and active young man who got violently raped when I was just 21 years old. Because I did not know all the ramifications and was partially in denial I sought medical help. As a result the psychiatrists gave me major tranquilizers which I got "hooked" on and could not get off without going insane. Not until recent years was it discovered that I could reduce the medicine only very slowly and finally be rid of it. An easier and much less costly solution would to have been through counseling and the courts to expunge myself of the sickening acts that were perpetuated onto me as I was tied to that bed in early 1974.
Instead, I ran and ran and fled and fled -- until running out of steam. One time I incurred much debt on gas and credit cards. Eventually I learned -- eventually I paid it all back. Another time I entered a state hospital with close to $1,250.00 on me, but it was never returned to me upon my discharge. There had been reasons not to trust people and with that being said it was obvious that my young adulthood had been wasted. There were too many costs, big bumps and bruises, and way too many losses. These lessons I have learned -- only take a step when you are sure of your footing. Only give when you are sure of the reception. Care, but don't expect results. "Realize it is between God and you, because it was never about 'them' anyways."[Mother Teresa]
Sometimes there is more cost than just money. Sometimes trust has to be built. In 1988 Leslie and I married. We promised everything to each other but we also promised that we would have a prenuptial contract. As a result we did not mingle our money until 2005. Costs and trust made us "get it together".
Let it be known that we love the caring which my parents -- especially R. Nelson Franz, my Dad -- gave to us. He let us live in a condominium unit, in what no other terms could be described as free housing. I don't know what I can do with such love as what came from my Mother and Dad. I can only be the best I can be at any given time: from here to eternity. I know that Dad was sad, for the only son he had (and I had tried to be good) was 'hooked' into mental illness ostensibly from the pills of the psychiatrists. Something was wrong that none of us could extricate ourselves from. Out of sorrow and some sublimated anger Dad would help.
So there Leslie and I were -- ready in 2005 to take on our finances.
The first thing we had to do was find out where our debt was located. The credit cards had to be paid off every month if we were to keep them. Please know that for the last ten years we have paid off every monthly balance each month on every card. We have scraped to make this happen. Also we found old medical bills from 1999 which we paid off within the year of 2005. Reputation became important and there was pride in our hearts. Just by doing these simple things made us feel better about ourselves. Finally, we went down to one checking account and one car between us. All extra expenses were cut.
We also learned that a stay-at-home salmon steak dinner was more preferred than a meal of prawns at an upscale restaurant. We began pleasing each other more and felt more strength in our love.
Absolute trust in another -- particularly a professional such as a medical doctor -- brings more to fret about because everybody stays fallible. Creating a bond with another such as in matrimony lets one join in a living, breathing relationship. There may be mistakes but perfection is not expected. The cooperation between Leslie and I makes for plans to be made, expenses to be met, jaunts to be taken and mistakes to be forgiven. One does not do this in professional relationships. No doctor can pretend to be my friend -- either they are or they are not. A mate, however, is something special -- someone to work with, someone to sweat with, and someone to love.
As a result I want you to know that every month in every year since 2005 I have documented a spreadsheet of every dollar we have spent. If you think I have gone too far then let me tell you that because of these tallies, we have been able to take one or more trips every year, have purchased a new year-old car, kept up with new clothes, been out almost every evening and have eaten so much as to need to spend money on Weight Watchers. We have also, perhaps unfortunately, have had to keep up with medical and dental bills. Yet we do keep them up responsibly as well as cheerfully find a place for charity.
The daily discipline does us well. No matter how many hours our day is long there is always time to fit in "the next right thing". When you know where your money goes, you appreciate it even more.
Sincerely,
Robert N. Franz
Bob Does Everything Backwards: Writing Out of an Illness
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