Self Doubt

I’m not an outgoing person. Now, don’t get me wrong, I grew up in a family of extroverts, and I was trained how to party with the best of them… but it’s a struggle sometimes. And even more difficult than partying with strangers, is telling those strangers (or even people I know) that I’m a writer.

I struggle with self doubt. I struggle that I’m not good enough. That my writing isn’t good enough. That there are so many other things I need to learn before I’m a REAL writer. And although my writing has grown over the years, this self doubt, this fear, hadn’t lessened. I hesitate to tell people about my books for fear that they’ll go buy them, that they’ll judge me and find them wanting. I know, I know… I shouldn’t care what they think…

Or, maybe some of you are thinking that I shouldn’t publish unless I’m 100% confident that it’s good. That it’s perfect. Well, if I’ve learned anything, it’s that nothing is ever perfect. I can hire editors, several proofreaders, and beta readers, and it’ll still have mistakes. I could spend a fortune to have professionals look at it, to tear it apart and help me put it back together to make it stronger, but even then, it won’t be perfect.

And you know what? I’m starting to be okay with that. I write stories because I love to write. I love to see what characters will do, to see how events will unfold. I could take those stories once I’m finished and shove them deep in a dark drawer so that no one will ever criticize or judge me, but if I did that… then no one else would ever be able to enjoy them.

I want readers to be able to enjoy my stories. I want readers to fall in love with my characters as deeply as I have. I want to make people laugh, cry, and completely check out of their lives for a little bit. I started reading to escape a bad situation, and it helped me. It stabilized me. And if there is any way I can do that for even one person… it’s worth it. The judgments, the bad reviews, the frustrations during creation… it’s all worth it.

Touching a reader’s life is worth it.
If you haven’t had a chance to read one of my stories, I am offering a free book to my newsletter subscribers. Check out my contact page for more information.